Page 11 of Broken Player

I watched as she lifted her hand and knocked on the screen door, balancing a plate on her other hand and tucking her wind-mussed hair behind her ear. I took a step forward, the floor creaking under my boot.

Our eyes locked through the screen door, and the air crackled between us. I hadn't expected Ryan to come over at all, let alone the same afternoon I showed up. It made me wonder if she'd been waiting and watching for signs of my return. I didn't dare let myself hope. I couldn't. Nothing had changed, I still didn't deserve her.

I threw up my mask of indifference and shut off my emotions. Over the years, I'd gotten good at hiding how I felt, and I'd need those skills now more than ever. No matter what, I would protect her from me. I allowed my eyes to scan over her dark wavy hair, striking brown eyes, and cheeks dotted with constellations of freckles. I'd come across thousands of beautiful women in my life and not one of them compared to Ryan.

A memory tried to push its way to the surface, one filled with clumsy kisses, unsure lips brushing against each other, and soft, freckled skin smooth under my palm. I shut that shit down, though. It was as if being closer to her made the memory of our first and only kiss bubble up out of the depths of my mind. I couldn't deal with that shit.

I turned the handle, opening the screen door, and she moved aside so I could step out onto the porch. No fucking way was I inviting her into the house. There were so many reasons that was a bad idea, I couldn't even list them all.

"You're really back," she marveled, her voice breathless and wispy as if she thought she was in a dream, and if she spoke too loud, she might wake herself up. Fuck, the way she looked up at me with wonder and longing in her eyes instead of hate and resentment like I deserved meant trouble. I couldn't afford to let my walls down when it came to Ryan. It was torture to rip myself away from her all those years ago, misery to keep myself away, and I'd done it all for her.

I could endure anything if it meant she'd be happy.

"So glad you noticed," I drawled as if I was bored, letting my eyes wander up and down her body with a cold smirk plastered on my face. I built myself quite a reputation, one that was well-deserved. I hoped she didn't see through my act here. I needed her to assume the worst of me like everyone else did. Ryan was anything but another conquest, but I needed her to think that's all I saw.

She shifted awkwardly before seeming to remember she held a plate full of food in her hand, which she thrust in my direction. "Here, I made your favorite," she tried again, her tone light but tinged with more uncertainty than a few minutes ago.

My heart swelled as I looked down at the plate of chocolate chip oatmeal cookies. She used to make these for me when we were kids, and I'd had a particularly shitty day of my dad beating the everloving fuck out of me. She, and the cookies, were the only bright spots in my otherwise fucked up childhood.

I took the plate, swallowing hard. My mouth watered, but I kept the cocky grin locked on my face and my eyes as devoid of emotion as I could. "I can't eat this shit. How do you think I maintain this body?" I asked, rubbing my hand down my chest and abs and watching as her eyes sparked with heat and followed my fingers' path before snapping back up. "See something you like, baby?" I taunted, hating myself for the way I was acting, but I had to do it.

She huffed. "Don't flatter yourself."

I handed her back the plate. "Thanks for stopping by, but I've got a lot of work to do." I left no room for argument, and her mouth fell slightly open as she absently took the plate back. I turned and opened the screen door, not waiting for her to leave the porch before letting it slam behind me. Everything in me wanted to turn around, but I knew I wouldn't be able to handleseeing the hurt look in her eye at what a colossal asshole I just was to her.

I long since thought my heart was cold and dead, incapable of feeling anything other than indifference and anger. But I'd been wrong because Ryan just climbed her way back inside and cracked it wide open again.

Who the hell did he think he was?

I didn’t think I’d ever been so angry. My teeth ground together as I stomped off the creaky wooden porch and climbed into my car. I tossed the plate of cookies onto the passenger seat and slammed my hand against the steering wheel a few times, wishing it was Maddox’s face. Had he always been such a complete tool, or was that something he’d developed now that he was some big shot rock star?

For a second, I thought I’d seen a flicker of something warm and inviting in his eyes, but it was gone so quick I must’ve imagined it. The engine turned over, and I put the car into gear, spinning the tires as I pressed down on the gas a little harder than necessary.

A couple of minutes later, I pulled into my driveway and got out of the car, slamming my door shut. I still fumed from my interaction with the boy next door. Had he really changed that much from the boy I once knew and loved? The boy who saved me, protected me, and became my best friend?

Quinn jumped down off of Daisy, his eyes searching my face and then narrowing in the Everleigh Ranch direction. “What’d that asshat do?”

I blew out a frustrated breath, my sweaty hair barely lifting off my forehead as the warm air wooshed past. I clenched my fists until my nails bit into my palms. “Oh, you know, nothingexcept refuse the cookies I baked him and slam the door in my face after looking at me like I was a piece of meat,” I recounted. I kept to myself how much it actually hurt that Maddox looked me over but deemed me not even worthy of a second glance.

I knew he had access to the most beautiful women in the world and took advantage of that fact often. I wasn’t blind or immune. I may not be as obsessive about following his career as I once was, but I wasn’t naive. I’ve read the headlines. I just never thought he’d look at me as notenough. I never had self-esteem issues when it came to my looks. I knew I was pretty, and even Maddox’s lack of interest in me wouldn’t change my mind.

But damn if it didn’t sting.

Rather than let the stinging in my eyes turn into tears, I reached into the passenger side of my car and snatched up the plate of cookies. I handed one to Quinn before dumping them on the ground and stomping them into the dust, growling my frustration with every strike of my heel.

“Damn, Ry. I could’ve eaten at least another two or three of those,” Quinn lamented, staring longingly at the pile of crumbled cookies now spread across the ground at my feet.

“Sorry, not sorry, Quinn. But you know what?” I asked, looking up into the hazel eyes of my best friend.

“What?”

“Screw Maddox Everleigh. I deserve better,” I declared, dusting off my hands.

Quinn wrapped his strong arms around me, pulling me into his chest. “Yes, you do. And I won’t let you forget it. Now c’mon, that hay’s not going to move itself.”

I chuckled before casting one last glare at the small house on the hill and turning my back on it. Maybe it was time I finally let go of my childhood love once and for all.

Groaning,I rolled over in bed and slapped at my phone until it fell off the nightstand, the blaring alarm grating against my last nerve. Leaning far over the bed, I brushed my fingertips along the rough carpet before hitting my phone under the bed. “Ugh!” I growled, sliding off the mattress and falling onto the floor in a heap. Finally retrieving it, I shut off the beeping with a sigh.

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