Page 53 of Broken Player

"Can't," I said, and he sighed, letting me go and putting some distance between us.

"Fuck. I don't know what to do here, Freckles. I can tell you don't want to do this. The expression on your face whenever he's around. The way your body responds to me and not him. It paints a picture I don't like, and I can't help feeling like there's a whole lot more going on here. I know I left, but I'm back now, and I'm sure as fuck not going anywhere. Maybe eventually you'll trust me enough to let me in," he said, his shoulders tense as he turned and made his way back to the shore.

"Where are you going?" I called after him as fear clawed up my throat, and my heart started to race. Was he going to leave? Would I ever see him again?

"Home. I need some time to think," he called out as he waded out of the water completely naked, bending to pick up his clothes and pulling them on before climbing up on his black stallion. He never even looked back at me.

As I watched him ride away, I couldn't help but wonder if I was making a huge mistake by not just coming clean and telling him the truth about what's going on. But if I broke the NDA and Yates found out, and I had to assume he would, there'd be no way I could handle the financial consequences of that, let alone save the farm.

Making my way to the shore, I watched Maddox on the horizon until he was only a tiny dot. I wanted to cling to every second I could and hoped that wasn't the last time I'd ever see him.

Stepping out of the shower, I towel dried my hair. Droplets of water ran down my chest, and I drug the towel over my skin, catching them before they hit the floor. I slept like absolute shit last night, tossing and turning because I couldn't shut my goddamn brain off about Ryan and what she was hiding from me. Before I hopped in the shower this morning, I texted Connor and asked him to bring over coffee because I'd never make it through today if I didn't take in a fuck ton of caffeine.

I pulled on a black t-shirt and jeans, and I padded out to the kitchen where he already sat waiting. He nodded toward the styrofoam cup sitting on the table across from him, and I took the seat in front of it. "Thanks," I mumbled, lifting the cup to my mouth and enjoying the hot, bitter burn.

Connor watched me as he sipped his own coffee. The silence stretched out between us, but it wasn't uncomfortable. Finally, he spoke up. "You're up early," he noted.

I nodded. "I'm about to head next door for the day."

"You do realize you're not a rancher, right? You have three guys waiting for you to figure your shit out and get back so you can start working on your next album." He watched me over the top of his cup as he sipped again, his posture deceptively relaxed. I knew better.

"Of course I know I'm not a fucking rancher, Connor. And I don't want to be. But that girl over there?" I pointed in thedirection of Ryan's house. "She needs help, and I need her. So until the guys need me back, I'm staying here until I can figure out what the fuck is going on between Ryan and that dickhead Yates."

Connor leaned forward and rested his arms on the tabletop, gripping his cup between his giant hands. It was almost funny how small the cup looked between them. He absently spun it around between his fingers. "I've started digging, but so far haven't turned up much on him. That's not all that surprising if he has something to hide. Someone with money like he has would hire the best to cover their tracks. I'll keep looking, but if I keep hitting walls and she doesn't give you anything, we need to decide if you want to dig deeper or just leave it alone and let her go."

My eyes narrowed as I glared at him across the table. "I willneverlet her go. Even if I have to wait forever. I spent so fucking long denying how I really felt, pushing it down and fucking around to forget. Now that I admitted that shit to myself, there's no going back. Ryan's what I want, and I'll do whatever I have to do to figure out what the fuck is going on. I know there's something not right about this whole situation. I can feel it in my fucking bones, Connor."

He sighed as if he'd already resigned himself, he knew that was what I was going to say. "I had a feeling. You know I'll call in my guys if I need to."

"I know. I really want her to tell me what's going on, though. I want to earn her trust, and so far, I've spent twelve years doing a terrible fucking job. I'm not surprised she won't talk to me. But I'm done running, so maybe I can get her to tell me, and we won't need your team." I glanced down at the digital screen on my wrist and realized I was going to be late for breakfast.

"Thanks for the coffee, but I gotta run. How much longer are you staying?" I asked, standing and tossing my empty cup in thetrash. I made a mental note to hire a cleaning crew to come to deal with this place because I didn't have time to mess with that shit myself, and Russell hadn't exactly taken care of the house when he owned it.

"I'm heading back this afternoon, actually. True's got some promo stuff he's doing, and Zen wants to be with him. Kennedy called me this morning." He chuckled. "She's freaking the fuck out about me not being there. Hormones," he said with a grin as if that were the only reason she'd be freaking out. We both knew that wasn't it, though. She liked Julian, Sebastian, and Indy just fine, but the only one on Connor's team she really trusted with her husband's safety was the man himself, and he'd been gone long enough.

I smirked. "Don't let her hear you say that shit."

Connor laughed. "I won't. If you need me, call. Otherwise, I'll see you when you get back." He groaned. "Fuck. I just realized I'm gonna have to find a new wingman, aren't I?"

Walking around the table, I clapped him on the shoulder as he stood. "Sorry, man. Looks like it."

"You fucking rock stars. You're supposed to be debauched. Corrupt degenerates. Instead, I get stuck with the group who'smonogamous." He said the last word like it tasted bad coming out of his mouth, and I laughed, not really able to believe that I was being included in that group. What the hell was happening to me?

"I'm starting to think that with the right woman, monogamy isn't that bad." I shrugged. "It doesn't feel like a bad thing when she's the only one you want. Other girls just don't compare."

"Yeah, you go ahead and keep that shit to yourself. I don't want to catch it," he shuddered.

I stepped around him to the counter, grabbing my keys and my phone and shoving them in my pockets before sliding my sunglasses onto my face. "Can you lock up when you leave?"

He nodded. "I'll text you when my flight lands."

With one last glance around the house to make sure I had everything, I slid into my boots, quickly lacing them up and taking off for Ryan's. They'd be just starting breakfast, and I was already running late.

I started jogging and found myself climbing the steps to her front porch in only a few minutes.

I rapped my knuckles on the screen door and waited until Quinn swung the door open. He visibly relaxed when he saw it was me. "Morning, Quinny."

A smile tugged at his lips. "Fuck, am I glad to see you."

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