Page 86 of Your Secret to Keep

I have to find her.

Chapter 51

Lia

IdrovearounduntilI was sure there was no one following me. I’m far enough from Brooks’ place, but there’s no way I can handle the paparazzi following me or taking more pictures. They’ve done enough today. Part of me wanted to go to my aunt and uncles, but I couldn’t risk it. Instead, I pull my car into a parking spot on a residential street a few blocks from the diner.

The wind whips around me, stealing my breath and burning my cheeks. Snowflakes dust the sidewalk while clouds hide the sun this morning. I miss the moment when I woke up, rested from sleeping in, before everything fell apart.

It’s not that the walk is far, but I forgot my coat at Brooks’. The leggings and crewneck outfit aren’t doing me any favors. My fingers ache as I try to pull my sleeves down far enough to keep them covered.

When I walk in, Julie sees me, pours a cup of coffee and sets it at my booth—my favorite one in the back.

“I’ll be over when this little rush dies down.” She squeezes my shoulder as she passes me, making her way to a table needing her attention.

Slipping into the booth, there’s comfort in the worn upholstery. Julie catches my eyes for a split second, and I know she’s waiting for me to lose it. To be fair, thisismy place. I’ve cried many tears in this diner—and Julie was present for most of them.

Muscle memory takes over as I put a cream and single sugar in my coffee. I wrap my fingers around the mug, letting it warm my fingers.I’ve been shivering since I got in the car—it’s more than the December temperature.

What do I do now?

For the first time, I think about how someone could have gotten those photos. They were watching us in the pool? Waiting for their moment? I shake off the ick, or try to at least, because this all feels gross.

Part of me thought about how Brooks and I would finally go public—I mean, that would’ve had to happen eventually. Secrets weren’t meant to be kept forever. It wasn’t supposed to be in grainy, grimy, gag-inducing photos that someone took without our knowledge or permission.

I sip my coffee, staring at the steam rolling in front of my eyes. Twinkly holiday lights catch my eye, lining the ceiling of the diner. Christmas is only a week away. One of my favorite holidays.

Then it hits me—I don’t feel like I have a place. There’s nowhere for me to fit. I’m not sure there’s anywhere for me to go.

The lights remind me of my apartment, the one currently under construction, which has been my safe space for so long. Brooks quickly assumed responsibility for things he didn’t need to. Now it’s all complicated and jumbled, and my skin is too tight to fit my bones.

Tears silently fall down my face. I don’t try to stop or hide them. Instead, I sit back, grasp the coffee cup like it’s the only thing keeping me going, and feel the wave of hurt.

“You need to eat something,” Julie protests, sliding a pancake and a few pieces of bacon in front of me.

“No, I’m good. I just—”

“You’re not good. And you’ve been sitting here for hours. Please eat something.”

Hours? How?

“Do you want me to call someone for you?” Julie asks with eyes full of comfort, just like old times.

I grab a fork, even though the last thing I want to do is eat.

Someone stands behind Julie and says, “No, I’m here.”

Wes.

He’s pink-cheeked from the outside and I can smell the snow from his jacket. Julie smiles at him as he slides next to me, not across, and puts a hand around my shoulder.

I tilt my head into Wes’ shoulder like he used to do to me when he was little. When he lost a basketball game, hurt himself, or had a nightmare and would crawl into my bed. We’ve been taking care of each other, in the way it counts, for a long time. He rubs my forearm and if I had tears left, they’d be staining his shirt.

“How did you know where to find me?” I sniffle.

“I just knew,” he replies, squeezing me tighter.

Chapter 52

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