Page 74 of Your Secret to Keep

I tell her everything. About how I met Lia that first night and for the first time felt like something was finally right. About how she ended up working for the Jags. About the secret. About Rebecca. About Lia staying with me.

“Brooks Pittman,” Jen gushes, “I fear you’ve been holding out on me. Which is fine, but know that here, everything is safe. You don’t need to carry all this alone. Let me have some of it… even if it’s for only a few minutes.”

I let out a sigh and sit back.

“There’s a lot to unpack, but let’s start with what I think is the most important.” My stomach flips at her words, even though I knew this part would come next. “First, it sounds like Lia is a lovely person. Hearing you talk about how important it is for you to help her when she needs it is a sign of a solid relationship. Also, it shows real maturity to own your misstep when it came to Rebecca. Accountability is hard but it’s important.”

“It’s like part of me was too afraid to bring it up. Like I didn’t want to ruin anything,” I admit.

Jen nods. “I get it. Especially in a scenario like yours where you’re trying to keep this under the radar. But you know the power of honesty.”

“I do. I know. Fuck, I know.” My head falls into my hands.

“Brooks,” she prompts, waiting for me to pick my head up and look at her. “You can’t beat yourself up about things that are resolved. What’s the point in that? The lesson here is you move forward, being as open as possible.”

She’s right. The words hit me and it’s like a piece of the heavy I’ve been wearing lifts.

“Something you need to consider is the pull of your profession and things you can’t control,” Jen adds. “Injuries are pretty common, and you’re never promised a certain amount of time. While you can’t determine what injuries are waiting for you, I think it’s important to catalog things you have outside of that. Besides basketball, who or what else makes you happy? Those are some of the things you can control.”

My brain starts making a list. My family. Lia. Rocky.

“Athletes are a different type of person. It’s like your whole life is typically devoted to a sport that is impossible to serve you forever,” Jen reminds me. “Even for people who still work in their sport, whether that’s coaching or working for a team, it’s not the same as being an athlete. You’ve done amazing things when it comes to basketball, but you’ll do even greater things outside of it. Does that make sense?”

“Yes, but I’m sweating thinking about it.” The honest reaction comes quickly, and I wipe away the sweat that smatters my brows with the back of my hand.

Jen chuckles and replies, “A fine reaction.” She closes her notebook, meaning our time together is almost up. “I have a few things for you to consider before our next session. First, it may be beneficial for you to keep a short journal for your mood. Depression isn’t a line, and it isn’t the same for everyone. I know you’ve never wanted to get on ananti-depressant or anxiety med, but a low dose is something we may want to consider. Maybe during the off-season? But the first step is trying to understand how you’re feeling.”

The suggestion for a medical approach doesn’t turn me off as much as it did the first few times we discussed it. I’ve never needed some sort of regular med, and at first it felt like a cop out, like I wasn’t trying hard enough. Now I’m wondering what it’d be like to try something like that.

“Next, be open with Lia,” Jen continues. “With the good and bad. It sounds like she’s taken care of herself and those close to her for a long time. It might be hard for her to let you do things for her, like helping her with a place to stay. Keep the conversation going.”

She’s right. To be fair, she’s usually right. I nod. “Yes. Thank you, Doc.”

“And lastly, go Jags. Y’all are on fire lately.”

Chapter 45

Lia

“Tellmeagainhowyou got concert tickets to something that’s been sold out for months?” Shelbie asks as she grabs our giant pretzel.

We’re in the food court at the only nearby mall worth going to. Since most of my clothes are Jags teamwear that was leftover and close to my size, or stuff I can work in, I decided it was time to shop.

Especially because I’m about to be in elite company and I want to feel good.

“Brooks’ brother, Zack. He plays for the Cosmos and is best friends with Tripp Owens, who is Willow’s fiancé. Plus, Zack is marrying Emilie, and she’s worked with Willow the last few years.” I explain the connection, trying to make sure I get it right.

“Do you have seats or how does that work?”

Cutting into the pretzel, I dip it in the spicy queso, steam rolling off the cheese. “No, we’ll all be in a suite. A few of Brooks’ teammates are coming too. And then we’re all going out to Oasis after.”

Shelbie raises an eyebrow. “Wait, what do you mean?”

“After each concert, Willow rents out a local spot and the crew, friends and family go out. Brooks suggested Oasis and Willow loved it. So that’s the plan.” I share this like I’m not nervous.

Shelbie looks up at me over a forkful of pretzel, calling my bluff. “You’re freaking out.”

I groan. “Yes. I’m freaking out.”

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