“You and I are very different people. No sex tapes, and I don’t think I’m cool enough to sext.”
He lifts his hands in surrender. “There’s no way you have zero skeletons. Think hard.”
“My ex has been texting me.” I shift on the couch, my words quick and messy. “I haven’t texted her back or anything. But I haven’t told Lia.”
“Are you talking about Rebecca? She didn’t even come see you when you were recovering. Why is she texting you now?”
I shrug my shoulders, letting my hands fall to my sides. “I don’t know. She wants to get together but I’m not going to do that.”
Zack’s blonde hair flops in front of his eyes as he dramatically listens. “Sure, sure. Well, why are you keeping it from Lia?”
The million-dollar question and one I don’t have an answer for. Well, I have an answer, but it’s shit.I don’t know.
“It sounds stupid, but I don’t know. Part of me thought she’d leave me alone once I didn’t respond. It’s just… this thing with me and Lia, it’s new and I don’t want to seem like I have all this baggage and shit.”
“Right. You already have a surprise family. I get it,” he jokes, and it makes me feel better. “If I’m remembering correctly, isn’t this the ex who quite literally didn’t give a single fuck and cheated on you, for like… a while?”
“Yeah, that’s the one.” I think back to the night Riley and Zack took me to a bar, where I had too many beers and told them the entire Rebecca saga. They both blocked her from social media that night, a small showing of solidarity, but at the time it felt like the most loyal of things.
“Hate to break it to you, but I don’t think she’s the kind to take a hint. You should tell her.”
“Right. I know. But still… I don’t have the balls to bring it up. Why am I like this?” I scrub my face with my hands.
Zack claps his hands, making me jump and causing Rocky to bark and run to the door. “Hey! None of that. There’s nothing wrong with you,” he protests. “I get it. You finally have something good, and you don’t want to ruin it. Believe me, I’ve been there.” He laughs to himself and looks at the floor for a few seconds. “Someone should learn from my mistakes. Don’t let any of this come out and surprise her… that is not what you want. Can confirm.”
He’s right. I absolutely don’t want to make Lia feel like I have anything to hide. Immediately, I’m putting myself in her shoes and wondering how it’d feel if the roles were reversed. My stomach rolls. This would fucking sting. No doubt.
“You’re right. I know you’re right. I don’t know why I’ve been avoiding this. Now it seems like a bigger deal than it should.”
“Well, we can’t go back, only forward. Talk to her about it. Look at that—I gave advice to my little brother.” The grin stretching acrossZack’s lip is contagious. Ultimately, he’s the most unbothered person I’ve ever met, and I wish I could steal some of it—bottle it up for when I spiral.
I smile and nod before putting this topic to rest and moving on. “Wait, do you seriously not lock your doors?”
Chapter 31
Lia
“Ifeellikeyoubribed me with margs and queso,” Shelbie accuses, taking a fresh tortilla chip from the bag and covering it with cheese.
“I don’t know what you mean.” I feign innocence while turning the volume up, as the second quarter is about to start.
Shelbie looks at the TV then back to me. “You just wanted someone to come over and watch the game with you.” She gestures to the TV with her margarita before pulling the salt-rimmed glass to her lips. “You know what, doesn’t even matter. What’s the deal with this food? It’s fucking incredible.”
“All thanks to Brooks. He took me here after a game and now I’m dreaming of it at least once a week.” I take a chip through the salsa before popping it in my mouth.
“Good dick and a food rec? You should keep this one.”
I roll my eyes and can’t help but laugh at her—she has such a way with words.
“Just watch—you’re going to end up marrying this guy. Only you would meet a random ass professional athlete who turns out to be the kind of man you could actually end up with.”
I take a long drink of my own margarita, letting the salt meet the shining sour of the lime before it balances out with the tequila. Her words hit me like below zero windchill when you finally open the door to brave the winter cold.
The kind of man you could actually end up with.
I’ve been trying to catch myself from falling too deep. The truth is that being stuck in our bubble, existing within the secret only we know, isn’t what real life is really like. I’ve been so wrapped up in the job, the slight slowdown of life, and Brooks. If there’s one thing that scares me most, it’s the hope. The hope this thing between us is real, even outside the veil of away games and luxury hotels. The hope it’s more than the allure of sneaking around. Keeping a secret.
Part of me thinks Shelbie is right; that even after everything my brain tells me is wrong with this situation, there’s still a chance. This isn’t your typical type of hope—it’s the massive kind that wraps around you like a never-ending blanket, fills a room, and takes up the space that’s been empty and lonely in your ribcage.