Page 54 of Anytime I Want

“Do it! It’ll be good!” another tree that sounds suspiciously like Aunty Em says. I let out a wet chuckle and pull on the latch. I step into my room with my eyes closed, nervous.

“Julia?” Graham’s voice is soft with a hint of vulnerability. My eyes fly open and I see him dressed like Prince Charming from that Cinderella movie Chloe made me watch. I stare at him, willing anything to come out of my mouth, but it just opens and closes against my will. I am entirely speechless. He is holding a single red rose and an oversized scroll, like the one the Grand Duke reads inCinderella. He hands me the rose, and unrolls the scroll for me to read. The tears are flowing now, and I cover my mouth with my hands, the rose pricking my face. I stare at the sign and read it over and over again.

Graham takes a tentative step towards me. “Julia?” he asks again. He lets the sign fall to his side and reaches for me. I drop the rose and run to him, throwing my arms around his neck. He has to drop the sign or drop me, and luckily he drops the sign. I squeeze him as tight as I can with him holding me off the ground. I know I’m acting like this is an actual proposal, not an invitation to a dance, but it feels huge.

He spent so much time and money on this, and when I think about how worried I was that he wouldn’t keep doing the list, I start to laugh. I throw my head back and entirely give in to the laughter. Graham chuckles, a little unsure, before it becomes too contagious and he is laughing too. We spend a minute orso holding each other and laughing before we make eye contact. The feeling shifts, and the laughter trails off.

He sets me down to brush a piece of hair off my face. He lets his thumb linger on my cheek, and his eyes jump from mine to my lips. I bite my lip and nod. Yes to the dance, yes to the kiss, yes to finally being all in—no more doubt. A huge smile fills his face, as if he can read my mind. He looks up to the ceiling, lets out one more chuckle, and then kisses me.

Now, this isn’t our first kiss, but it feels even more special. It’s the first time we kiss and know that we are entirely in this. This isn’t hesitant, this isn’t for a list; it’s just for us. I pull back and whisper, “I’d love to.” His smile grows, and he presses his lips against mine again. I hear the latch on the door, and I try to pull back but Graham won’t let me.

My mom gasps a little and says, “I’ll just leave this open.”

I giggle, but Graham doesn’t stop kissing me. I lose myself in the moment. I want nothing more than for this to work, for me to be sure and trusting. And I think this is the start of it. No more fear. But a little voice in the back of my mind whispers,I hope.

***

After a few more minutes, Graham pulls back. “As much as I am enjoying this, what time does your dad get home? Because he’s terrifying.”

I laugh and grab his hand and pull him from the room. At the top of the stairs, Chloe is talking with the moms.

“Julia!” she screams when she sees me. She runs to me and wraps her arms around me, making me jump with her. One hand is still being held by Graham and it’s a little uncomfortable.

“Was it the most romantic ever? See, I told you he had a plan! No worries, we can entirely forget about Ginger Cole!” Chloe squeals. My nose crinkles in reflex of hearing her name. I needto work on that. “You’re right—She Who Must Not Be Named,” Chloe amends.

I sigh. “She’s not evil. She’s normally pretty nice. Let’s not call her Voldemort’s name. Just Ginger is fine.”

“My girl is so good!” Graham pumps his free hand in the air, and we all laugh.

The moms excuse themselves to do who knows what, and Chloe asks, “Wanna watch a movie or something?”

“I’m game. Let me get something to eat first. You two can pick.” I leave Chloe and Graham in the living room and head to the kitchen. I slow when I hear Nathan and Josie.

“So, I was wondering,” he clears his throat. I consider peeking around the corner but I don’t want to risk being seen. “Do you want to go to the Winter Formal with me? I was going to do a big ask, but you don’t really seem like the type.”

“Oh, Nathan. I’m flattered. But, uhm… no. You really aren’t my type. And I’m not your type, not really. You’re hot, all-American, Mr. High School. That’s not really my scene. But again, flattered.” There’s an awkward silence, and I wonder if this is my moment to go in the kitchen.

“Oh, yeah, makes sense. Thank you for your time.” I cringe for my brother.Thank you for your time?

“I’m going to just sneak out the back. I’ll see you later?” Josie says, the apology heavy in her tone. The back door scrapes open, and I count to ten before walking into the kitchen. Nathan is sitting at the counter, his head in his hands.

“Hey?” I say quietly. His head pops up, looking at the door in hope. When he doesn’t see Josie, he swings his head towards me.

“Oh, Jules. Hey.” He puts his head back in his hands.

“I’m sorry. I heard. Wanna talk about it?”

“Not at all. But thanks. What’s up? How’d it go?” he mumbles into his hands.

I allow the subject change. “It was amazing! Did you help?”

“Did I help? Of course I did. Team Grulia.” He scoffs. I smile at him and give him a big hug, mostly as a thank you but also for comfort. I can’t imagine that felt good at all. He hugs me a little longer than normal, and I don’t say anything.

“Wanna watch a movie with us? I’m just grabbing a snack. Maybe popcorn?” Popcorn is Nathan’s kryptonite. I could tell he was still getting ready to say no, so I brought out the big guns. “I’ll make it cheese?”

He gives me a small smile and a nod. “Sounds good. Want some help?”

“Absolutely.” I tuck my hand through his arm and pull him towards the pantry.

---