Page 52 of Anytime I Want

Julia

I get in the front seat of my car the next morning and honk the horn. I’m trying hard to be okay, but I'm a little embarrassed and irritated about last night. I feel dumb about getting so worked up over the dance-posal but also letting myself go down the rabbit hole. Almost in unison, Graham and Chloe open their front doors and start towards the car.

“Honking this morning? Bad night?” Chloe climbs into the back seat.

“It’s whatever. I'm fine.” I wave her off before pressing on the horn, trying to get Nathan to hurry.

“Julia, it’s pretty early. Maybe lay off the horn,” Chloe says, looking at the house next to hers, as if expecting the grumpy old man to come and start yelling at us. I can never remember his name, but it’s not uncommon for Chloe to complain about him.

Graham climbs into the front seat and leans over to give me a kiss. I try not to stiffen, but obviously I don’t succeed because Graham gives me a weird look. I give him a smile to soften whatever just happened. Clearly, I am more than a little irritated, but Graham’s eyebrows only furrow more, so I guess it didn’t work.

I start to press my hand on the horn again, but Graham grabs it, nodding towards the house. Nathan is coming out the front door, shaking his head.

“Calm down, J. I’m coming, we won’t be late, your perfect attendance certificate is still in your grasp. Oh wait, you skipped school for the heck of it. Chill out,” Nathan grumbles, climbing into the back seat. He reaches forward and pats Graham on the shoulder. “Good news, my mom is on top of it.”

“Nice.” He offers Nathan his fist and then gives no explanation. I want to ask, but I am not my best self this morning. If I start talking at all, Graham will know I’m bothered and how do I explain to him that I’m worried he won’t finish The List? I know I should trust him but old habits die hard.

“Uhm, Jules?” Graham is looking at me. Well actually, they are all looking at me. “School?”

“You’d think for all the honking, she would’ve squealed out of here,” Nathan mumbles.

Chloe hits him on the shoulder. “Leave her alone. She’s going through something, obviously.”

I shake my head and put the car in reverse. I zone out again, getting to the school on autopilot, ignoring the conversationgoing on around me. I park in the first space I can find and jump out of the car. I am halfway to the courtyard when I hear Graham calling my name.

“You forgot these.” He holds out my backpack with one hand, the other hand stretched toward me too.

“These?” I take my bag and arch my eyebrow at him.

“Yeah, backpack and me.” He smoothly grabs my hand and tangles his fingers with mine. I look down, a small smile breaking through my current crusty exterior. “Now, girlfriend. What’s wrong?”

I wave my free hand in the air, as if batting away my bad mood. “Nothing. I must’ve had a bad sleep.”

Graham makes an obnoxious buzzer sound, drawing the attention of so many people in the courtyard. “Try again.”

I open my mouth to disagree, but somehow he knows and keeps making the sound. After four buzzers, I give in.

“Okay, fine. I’ll tell you. But it’s stupid.”

“I disagree. But go ahead.”

“IthoughtyouweregoingtoaskmetotheWinterFormal...” I keep pushing out words, but they are really just sounds. I look at Graham, and his eyes are wide, his mind clearly trying to keep up with what I said. I take a breath and slow down. “I thought you were going to ask me to the Winter Formal and you didn’t, and I’m disappointed, but I’m trying not to be.”

“Wait, is there a deadline? Was I supposed to ask you already?”

“No. I was with Chloe yesterday, and she made me think you had a plan. But it’s fine. I don’t need anything big. I can just ask you here. Graham...” His hand covers my mouth and I let out a squeak in shock.

“No, don’t do that. I do have a plan. Just, wait. Okay? I promise it’ll be worth it. I have a whole team working on this, and I’d hate for it to go to waste.”

“Will you tell me when?” His hand is still covering my mouth so it comes out muffled. He drops his hand.

“I will tell you nothing. But, I will walk you to class and give you a kiss before I say a dramatic goodbye until lunchtime.” Graham wiggles his fingers, prompting me to grab his hand. I let out a laugh before taking his hand, pulling him toward my class. I’m glad I didn’t tell him about finishing the list. That issue I’m going to work out on my own.

***

Graham

As soon as lunch ends, I walk Julia to class, and then meet Nathan by the car. We are going to his house to help our moms set up the dance-posal.

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