Page 34 of Anytime I Want

… Let's make them. More fun.

Julia

I guess that’s okay. What movie? Can I pick?

Graham

Nope. We are watching a very specific movie and making very delicious chocolate chip cookies to fulfill a very important task on The List. Plus, I wantto hang out with you so I am bribing you with said cookies and Glen Powell.

Julia

Glen Powell? Cookies? The List?

ARE WE GOING TO MAKE COOKIES AND WATCH TWISTERS!!! You know me so well. I just got home from a run. Let me shower but I’ll hurry.

***

I run around the kitchen, trying to get all of the ingredients ready for cookies. Mom came downstairs for a minute but went to hide in her room because my “frantic energy was stressing her out.” I check the recipe on the back of the chocolate chips for the hundredth time, which is embarrassing because there are only like eight ingredients. I walk into the dining room to check my appearance in the oversized mirror Mom put on the wall over the table. I take off my hat, see my unruly hair, and decide to put it back on. Mom showed me a video on Instagram once about how women love backward hats. I hope that’s true, and that it’s not just moms. I lean close to the mirror to check my teeth when the front door opens. I jump back, hitting my butt on the edge of the dining room table. I howl, more in shock than pain, and jump a little, holding my butt. Julia gives me a confused glance before walking over to me.

“Are you okay?” she asks hesitantly.

“I’m so good. Just doing a little dance. I always do this before making cookies,” I say, still half howling.

“That’s a strange tradition, but if the cookies are good, I won’t judge. Should we?” She gestures towards the kitchen.

“Yeah, just let me grab my laptop. We can start the movie while we’re mixing the dough.”

“It doesn’t take that long; let’s just talk.” She reaches forward to grab my hand, pulling me behind her. Do guys get butterflies? Is there a more manly way to say that I have butterflies taking off in my stomach? Eagles? Pteranodons? Whatever they are, they are there and it is all because of Julia’s hand in mine.

I squeeze her hand. “So, what have you been up to this week? It feels like it's been forever since I've seen you. Or even talked to you.”

“I’ve been hanging out with Mabel. I met her when I was running in her community a few weeks ago, and she’s so fun. A little spunky but not too much. She used to be a voice teacher, and she has some really cool stories. Plus, she’s made me cookies twice.”

“A voice teacher? Like a singing coach?”

“Yes! I’ve been singing for her a little, and I think she’s been really helpful. There’s a variety show at her clubhouse next week, and I’m thinking about signing up. Is that stupid?” I go through quite the rollercoaster of emotions here—first, jealousy that Julia won’t sing for me, then happiness that Julia is getting help, and finally, excitement. She’s going to sing in public? I can totally be there. I don’t even care what else is going on that night.

“Not stupid at all! When is it? Can I come? Please,” I beg, dumping the sugar into the mixing bowl.

“Uhm. Yes. But let’s not tell everyone, k? It's one thing to sing for a room full of old people, an entirely different thing to sing for people I know and will see again. And that can actually hear me.”

“You’re going to tell your parents, right? And Chloe and Nathan? Probably Josie? That’s not too many. We can keep it a secret from my parents. Could you imagine my dad? He’d be so loud, it would terrify the old people.”

“Well, I’m not going to tell anyone else. But I suppose if a little birdie lets four, maybe five, people know, I wouldn’t be too upset about it.” Julia finishes mixing the cookie dough and starts scooping dough onto the cookie sheet.

“How are you done already? This would’ve taken me at least twenty minutes if I was doing it alone.”

“It’s just cookies, Graham. Don’t be so impressed. Remember, it’s the only thing I can make without screwing up.”

“I’m always impressed by you,” I say under my breath. Julia whips her head around to stare at me.Well, crap. She heard me. It’s not like I’ve never said anything like that before, but I try to be careful about how often. She knows I like her, but I don’t want to overwhelm her. Actually, that’s not true. I want to flood her with notes, flowers, compliments, hugs, and kisses. I want her to not doubt how I feel about her. I want her to know that, outside of my family, she is the most important person in my world. So, I take back thatwell, crap. I meant it. I probably won’t flood her with affection the way I want, but closer to a waterfall than a trickle would be okay. I reach over and grab her hand and watch her eyes soften. She bites her bottom lip, and I hold in a groan. Can today be the day? I’d really like to kiss this girl. We spend the next few minutes trying to clean up, each of us one-handed. It’s not even close to being effective, but it’s the best time I’ve ever had cleaning the kitchen. The timer goes off and we pull the cookies out, deciding that twelve is enough for now, and cover the rest of the dough. Julia grabs a plate and moves the cookies from the pan.

“Graham. Can you get us some milk? Fresh cookies and cold milk is the food of the gods.”

I laugh at her before grabbing one big cup for us to share. Because I want us to be the couple that shares. This is a great time to test it out.

Julia is sitting on the couch with a large blanket draped over her lap, large enough to share. I typically run hot, and while I’m no genius like Nate, I’m not an idiot either. I recognize an invitation when I see one. I grab the remote before cuddling up next to her. I scroll through the million streaming services we have until I findTwisters. I shift around, trying to get comfortable as close to her as I can. She looks at me with a smirk on her lips, and I go for it. I set the milk on the console table and wrap my arm around her, pulling her in, nice and snug. I use my other hand to hold hers, and rest my head on hers. We stay in this position for a while, randomly laughing or gasping whenever the movie calls for a reaction. When Glen Powell first shows up on the screen, I tickle Julia’s side, knowing she loves him. It’s not great for my ego. Being Hawaiian, I look pretty opposite of him, but I also know that Julia is attracted to me. I like to think I notice everything about her, including how her eyes dilate and her cheeks flush when she isn’t expecting to see me. She leans her head back to say something to me but stops short when we make eye contact. I’m not exactly sure what she sees in my eyes, but if they’re telling the same story my thoughts are telling, she knows I want to kiss her. I let go of her hand and tuck an unruly curl behind her ear. She takes a deep breath, and my hand lingers on her cheek. My thumb, almost on its own, gently strokes the edge of her mouth. Her lips part, and I know this is my moment. I thought I’d known it before, but this time I really know. I lean forward slowly and watch her eyes flutter closed, before letting mine do the same. My lips barely brush hers when her cell phone chirps. I let my forehead drop to hers and let out a hearty groan.

“Seriously,” she mumbles, going to check her phone.

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