Page 33 of Meet Stan

“Didn’t come up, he says.” She leaned into me, her hands splayed on my chest. Her bleary eyes grew softer, and she kissed me on the cheek, standing on her tiptoes to do so. “You’re too fucking tall.”

“How did you get past the doorman?”

“I told him that I was pregnant with your baby, and if he didn’t let me through, I was going to kill all three of us.”

She burst into drunken laughter, and then suddenly grew serious.

“Hey, I really got to pee.”

“Down past the home gym, second door on your right.”

“Home gym?” She looked around my place as if noticing it for the first time. “Jesus Christ on a fuckstick, this place is huge.”

She meandered down the hallway and disappeared into my bathroom. I tried to sort out what was going on. Obviously, she was three sheets to the wind. Why was she at my place?

My forgotten headset squawked as my squad mates screamed at me, wanting to know why I wasn’t backing them up.

“Sorry guys,” I yelled toward the microphone. “Forgot to log off.”

They didn’t hear me, but I wasn’t all that concerned. I turned around and started the coffee maker. I figured it might help her sober up.

As I fiddled with the filtered water and setting and such, I heard the return of Ivy’s footsteps. A moment later, I heard her talking.

“All right, this can’t be that hard,” she said, putting on the headset and picking up the controller.

“Whoa, is that a chick?” one of the other players asked.

“Chick? Fuck you. I’m dating a billionaire. Do you think I want anything to do with your junior high ass?”

She struggled with the game, making her character run around in circles before dropping a grenade at her own feet. The explosion killed her and she growled in frustration.

“Fuck this stupid game.” She tossed the controller down and came over to me. Her angry scowl melted away and she collapsed against me. I held her up in my arms, keenly aware of her soft bosom pressing against my chest.

“Hey,” she said sweetly.

“Hey.”

“Is that a cue ball in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?”

“I’m always happy to see you,” I said, without really thinking about it.

Her eyes widened.

“That was good,” she said, nodding. “That was really good. I almost believe you’re telling the truth.”

With a shock, some part of my mind realized I had been telling the truth. I really did look forward to seeing her.

Ivy traced a line around my chest with her finger. What had been cruel and hard now was soothing and enticing.

“Speaking of maintaining our cover, it occurred to me that we have to have sex, right now.”

“What?” I blurted.

“You heard me. The fourth date always ends in sex, right? So we need to have sex to maintain our cover.”

“We’ve only had three dates.”

“No, we didn’t, we’ve had four. I came over to your place and we played video game, and now you’re going to fuck me.”

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