Page 53 of Meet Mason, the Billionaire

“Ah, Delilah was kind of a cunt to be honest, but I put her money to good use.”

I threw open the door. “Now you sound like you’re telling the truth.”

His face split in a grin. “What made you change your mind?”

“You’re acting like your true, reprehensible self and not Mr. Smooth.”

“Ha and Ha. Can I come in?”

“No.”

“Fine, we’ll do this right here.” He sighed. “Look, Megan. I’m not going to lie. You hurt me really bad—”

“Oh stop, Brian. You were not the victim.”

“It’s a matter of perspective. Now where was I? Oh yes, you were a LOUSY girlfriend—”

I ground my teeth on that one, but I remained silent so he would get done and leave faster.

“—but you’re a fucking amazing artist. Simply put, I want you at my gallery. It will really class up the joint.”

I sighed. “Why are you here?”

“To make you this offer.”

“I’m broke, Brian.”

“Did I ask for money? Look, I know I owe you a couple hundred in back rent—”

“Try fifteen hundred! Not to mention the time I rented your tux for Jeff’s wedding, or when I paid to get your internet back on, or when I paid all your bills and fed you—”

“Okay, okay, so this won’t make us even. Not by a long shot, but it will at least start the process, right?”

I wiped a hand down my face. “All right. Because this is just too good an opportunity to pass up—assuming you’re telling the truth—”

“Which I am. I swear I am. You can look it up on the internet, the Schrauth Gallery dot com.”

“—yeah, I’ll be making sure it’s not an Onion article when I do that. Where was I?”

“The opportunity.”

“Right. So, this is too good an opportunity for the artist in me to pass up. But the woman in me has one caveat.”

“What’s that?”

“That we establish, here and now, that I’m never, ever, EVER sleeping with you for any reason. As in ever.”

“Again. You’re never sleeping with me again—”

“Fine. I’m never sleeping with you AGAIN. If you can accept that, and promise NOT to ask for money at the last second, then I’m in.”

“Fine, I agree,” he said, nodding. “I’m serious. I want to balance the karma between us.”

I stared at him blankly and he sighed.

“I’m telling the truth, Megan.”

News flash: People who are telling the truth see no need to tell you that they’re telling the truth. See also I’m not lying.

---