Page 75 of You've Got Male

“We’ve arrived,” her dad sang.

Jonah looked at the bottom of the steps where he immediately spotted Lenard. He was dressed in camel-colored boat shoes, mint green skinny jeans, and a silky shirt with palm trees on it. His face was painted with silver-and-pink sparkles, making him look like a silver fox gone club kid, and he was waving like he was part of the royal family.

“Why are you so worried? Does your dad pack a shotgun under those skinny jeans?” Jonah teased, nudging her shoulder with his.

She cracked the tiniest of smiles. “No, but he has been known to deliver glitter bombs to men who don’t treat me right.”

He leaned in to whisper in her ear, “Good thing I know how to treat a woman right.”

And he wanted to do right by Evie. No matter how this thing started, he was finding himself more and more protective over her.

“I know. But you didn’t sign up for the chaos that’s about to ensue.”

“Look, I’ve lived next door to your parents for almost a decade. Nothing can shock me.”

And that was the truth. He’d accidentally seen Moira watering her roses naked—he shivered at the horrific memory. Had Lenard tell him that he had the right “equipment” to wear tighterjeans. Then there was the time Camila puked up pizza and ice cream all over him at Ryan’s tenth birthday party after jumping in the blowup tent too long—lesson learned, jump housethenjunk food.

“Yes. But you’ve never seen them at a competition. They are loud, combative, yell at the judges, and boo the other teams. Plus, they try to be funny, but it always comes out perverse. Look.”

Evie pointed at Moira, who was in second-skin jeans, an animal-print shirt that said “Resident Cheer Cougar,” and matching cougar-print stilettos. In her hands was a bright poster that read, “Nail That Dirty Bird, Cami.”

“What’s a dirty bird?” Jonah asked to lighten the mood.

“It’s a stunt. And this isn’t a part of the deal.”

“Neither was the other day,” he said. Evie kept her eyes forward but the beating pulse at the hollow of her neck was a dead giveaway.

He thought about that day often. It was becoming his favorite pastime. More like an obsession. Now that he knew the taste of her lips, the way her nipples puckered against his tongue, the way her breasts felt in his palms. The way she came apart on his mouth.

Oh no.Jonah was starting to get a sick, strange feeling. He didn’t want this. And by this, he didn’t want to pretend anymore with her. He wanted it to be real.

“Oh God! Here they come.” She spun to face him. “We can hold hands.” She grabbed his, but it felt more like middle schoolers trying to figure out how dating worked. “Be prepared. We have to pull this off. Make it believable.”

That wouldn’t be a problem for him, so the way she was reacting, all panicked and embarrassed, crushed something inside him. All right. She wanted him to play along, he’d play along. He slung his arm around her and pulled her snug againsthis body.

“What are you doing?”

“Making this believable. So bring your best, sunshine. Because I will.”

She seemed flustered, right where he wanted her. She’d thrown him for a loop, so he was going to do the same. Tit for tat. Which pissed him off.

“Do we have to sit so close?”

“Believable, remember?”

Her face crumbled a little bit, and she said, “Right. Now get ready. They will grill you. Bombard you with questions that include, but are not limited to, your sex life, your breakfast cereal choices, boxers or briefs—”

“Boxer-briefs, so I have both covered.”

“If you’re a ladies-first kind of man.”

He leaned in to whisper, “I’ll let you answer that one.”

She gulped down a gallon of air. “You shouldn’t be looking at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you’re going to slide your hand down my pants,” she whispered thickly.

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