Page 54 of You've Got Male

It was no wonder the kid was pissed. One minute Jonah was right there with him in the trenches, the next he was rebooting his career and diving headfirst into the dating pool. Or so it seemed. If Jonah had told him directly, Ryan could have gotten pissed or sad or all the emotions that came with seeing the people around you, the people who were supposed to be sharing the same grief, healing and moving forward.

It wasn’t moving on. Jonah would never move on because that implied leaving Amber behind. But he was ready to move forward. Even if it meant engaging in a fake relationship.

It was time he pulled his head out of his ass and helped his son move forward, too.

Ryan was sitting in the middle of the couch, scooched down low, a baseball cap turned backward, and his bare feet propped up. There was a dirty plate, a bowl half-filled with chips that had long since gone stale, and two empty soda cans littering the coffee table. So much for having a counter you could eat off.

Two days was all it took for the house to look like a teenage-sized tornado had blown through it. He ran a tired hand down his face, then entered the room.

Jonah knew that Ryan was aware of his presence, but the kid didn’t even acknowledge him, just kept playing his video game.

“Mind if I join in?” Jonah asked.

The response was a bored shrug, but Jonah would take whathe could get, so he picked up the spare controller and sat on the couch. To his surprise, Ryan restarted the game in two-player mode.

All it took was five minutes for Jonah and Ryan to fall back into their Saturday pattern they’d had when Ryan had been younger, playing video games, razzing and joking with each other. Jonah even got a few laughs out of Ryan. It felt good. Normal.

“So I’m guessing you want to talk,” Ryan broached, eyes glued to the screen.

Jonah chuckled. “Am I that obvious?”

“You just don’t play video games anymore.”

That brought Jonah up short. He had hundreds of memories of them sitting on this couch, killing zombies or enemy combatants. “Sure, I do.”

“When was the last time we hung out? Besides family dinner?”

Jonah opened his mouth to say just last week, when he realized that he couldn’t think of the last time it had been just him and Ryan, hanging out and doing guy stuff without Waverly or interruptions.

“You’re right and I’m sorry. I’ve let other distractions suck up my time and that’s on me.”

“Whatever. I get it.”

“But you shouldn’t have to.” Jonah wanted to pause the game but knew that the best way to keep Ryan talking was to play it casual—two guys shooting the shit. “How do you feel about me dating?”

Ryan’s fingers paused ever so slightly on the controller. “You have to start sometime. I guess now is the time,” he said. “Are you going to start inviting her to family dinner and stuff?”

Ryan was ten steps ahead of the reality of the situation. By avoiding the conversation, he’d left Ryan to wonder what family life was going to look like.

“Family dinner is family dinner. And this family is you, me,and Way, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.”

Ryan’s shoulders visibly relaxed, a clear indicator that he’d been stressing over this. Maybe even hesitating every time he came home not knowing if his family would look different than it had when he’d left for school. Just like when Amber had died. The kid had gone to bed with a mom and awoke to a fractured home.

“How do you feel about it being Evie?”

“I guess if you had to date someone, I’m glad it’s her.”

Jonah released a breath he’d been holding since Ryan’s run-in with Evie the other day. “If you’re not, you can tell me.”

Ryan paused the game to look at Jonah and he could see the honesty in his expression. “She’d never try to take Mom’s spot. Plus, I think Mom would like that you two were together.”

Jonah swallowed thickly. He liked that his son approved of Evie. Until that moment he didn’t know how important it really was.

“You do?” Jonah asked. “Why?”

“She was nice to Mom when Mom was sick and took care of me and Way when Mom died. Mom loved Evie, so I guess it’s okay if you love her, too.”

Relief and panic waged war in his gut. Relief that Ryan thought Amber would be okay with things—encourage it even. Panic because love wasn’t, and never would be, a part of the equation. Sure, he’d kissed Evie because he’d wanted to. And yes, he was attracted to her like a bee to pollen, but their arrangement was there to keep anything more than lust and like to form.

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