Page 39 of You've Got Male

“I swear she was dressed. I looked away for one minute and when I came back she was like this,” Camila said.

“You looked away or stepped away to talk to a boy?” Not willing to break eye contact with the two-foot-tall terrorist who was holding the room hostage with threats of instigating a poop war, Evie didn’t meet Camila’s gaze. She didn’t need to. The guilty silence was answer enough.

“Well, it’s time to earn that money.”

“I can’t. I have a game today and if I get my uniform dirty, Coach will freak. Plus, she’s covered in…” Camila made a gagging sound. She’d not only inherited her dad’s features and ability to deflect, she’d also inherited his sensitive gag-reflex.

“Evelyn darling, you hold the towel out wide,” Lenard instructed, taking Evie’s hands and spreading them all the way out to her sides. “Moira, you dangle the cookie and coo softly.”

“And what will you do?” Evie asked.

Lenard shrugged as if the answer was obvious. “Look fabulous.” He clapped his hands once. “Now, on with the show.”

Evie was about to tell him that the show needed more direction when Waverly’s little eyes slowly blinked and she took a step forward.

Everyone around Evie held their breath and took a giant step back. Waverly stopped, confused. She took another little toddle and they took another step bringing them up against the hallway wall.

As if reading the energy of the room, Waverly’s little lips formed a perfect little circle and her forehead scrunched. Her lids blinked rapidly and her hands fisted.Oh boy. Evie knew that look. That was the look of a kid who was two minutes from a meltdown.

Waverly plopped down on the floor, her bum leaving a fresh print on the hardwood, and lifted her little arms in the air. “Uppie. Uppie, Ve-Ve. Uppie.”

“Awww. She wants a hug,” her parents cooed, but Evie noticed they didn’t move forward to intercept the chocolate-covered cutie.

“Uppie,” Waverly said again, this time with a little more force, and what was Evie to do? She was already late for work, had agreed to a carpool switch-aroo, and clearly she was the only adult in the room brave enough to face poop.

“Come here, sweetie.” Holding her breath, Evie bent at the waist and wrapped the towel around Waverly’s roly-poly body and lifted her into her arms. Waverly rested her smeared cheek on Evie’s crisp, white shirt and let out a yawn. “How does a nice warm bath sound?”

…

Waverly was clean and dressed for school by the time Jonah had finally answered her text with an ever-so-helpful nugget of wisdom.

Jonah: Running late. On the way. Sometimes a hogtie is necessary. Take pics.

Evie: Helpful as always.

Jonah: Why aren’t you at work?

Evie: Our daughters conspired against me.

Jonah: So it’s a regular Monday?

Evie: This isn’t what I signed up for.

Jonah: When life gives you poop, reach for the hose.

Evie didn’t bother to respond. She put her phone away and cracked open the door to Jonah’s bedroom. It looked exactly how it had when Amber had been alive. Cork-colored walls, crisp white linens with bright yellow accents that matched her sunny personality. Only instead of the pristine presentation, it looked as if a dry cleaners had exploded, followed by a category-five hurricane.

The bed was unmade, and there were piles and piles of unfolded laundry. Some were on the floor, some hung up, and some just a crinkled mess spilling out of the hamper. She couldn’t tell if they were dirty or wear-ready. Or at least that’s what she told herself when she picked up one of the few folded shirts and gave it a big whiff.

A strange unfurling happened in her stomach. Warm and tingly and pheromone-induced.

Holding her breath so as not to be transported into a dreamy cologne commercial with a half-naked Adonis emerging from the water, she slid the shirt over her head. It dwarfed her, landing mid-thigh. She shuffled through another basket andfound a pair of sweats. Ten sizes too big but it would have to do.

She was mid-pull when the hairs on the back of her neck went on alert.

“If you wanted to get into my pants that badly you just needed to ask,” a familiar voice said from behind and damn, if she hadn’t just stepped even further into it.

Chapter Fourteen

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