Page 106 of You've Got Male

She blinked and fresh tears fell. Each one like a lance to his heart. “Trees that are growing and thriving and shadowing my life. Trees that bring rodents to my yard and mess up my efforts to grow and nurture and cultivate. Trees that leave lasting marks on the sidewalk that even a power washer can’t fix. My life has so many marks, most days I can’t even see the light, let alone get enough to bloom,” she whispered. “I love your family, and I loved you so much that I was willing to walk away from myself again.”

He took her hands. “Love, sunshine. Present tense. Please say it’s present tense.”

“Love isn’t always enough, Jonah. Not the kind of love that makes you choose between yourself and everyone else.”

“I choose you.” His plea barely pushed through the emotion clogging his throat. “I’ll choose you every moment of every day if you’ll let me.”

“But you can’t,” she whispered hoarsely. “We both have a long list of people who have to come first, and they deserve to come first.”

“What about us? What about what we deserve?”

Her fingers slipped from his and no matter how fast his hands chased them it wasn’t fast enough. “We deserve to spread our wings as far as they can go. I need to spread my wings.” She took a baby step closer and went up on her toes. “And you need to spread yours.”

The pain in this moment was like a living thing, consuming the air between them.

He regarded her silently. “So that’s it. You tell me you love me and the minute we hit a speed bump you want me to pull the carover so you can get out?”

“Would you rather me get out now while we can still walk away in one piece, or wait until we crash into a brick wall?”

She watched the roll of his throat as he swallowed. “So I don’t get a say? That’s not how love works.”

“But that’s how our agreement works.”

“Agreement? Are you even hearing what you’re saying?” he asked, and it felt like his hands were gripping the bottom of her heart. “This isn’t some project you can compartmentalize, someone’s life you can organize and stick in a closet. This is real life, and real life is messy and complicated and exciting and alive. You make me feel alive.”

“So do you, but eventually our obligations will kill whatever we have, and I’d rather have you in my life than not have you at all.”

He expelled a short, humorless laugh. “Don’t do this, sunshine.”

“I don’t know what else to do to protect us both.”

The air between them was filled with hurt and disappointment. And worst of all, betrayal. She’d betrayed his trust and his heart. “I’m not going to stand here and beg for you to choose me. I can’t do that again.”

“But I am choosing you, and one day you’ll understand. I just hope until then you don’t hate me.” She gave him a kiss that shattered what was left of the organ in his chest. Ripped it out and let it crash to the ground. Just like what his life felt like. A giant puzzle with pieces that would forever be missing.

Chapter Forty

Evie

Evie was back in her work uniform but for some reason it felt heavier today—suffocating. Similar to what was happening inside her chest. She hadn’t been able to take a deep breath for three days—ever since the breakup.

If breaking up was even a thing when they were never officially together—not really. What had started out as a ruse quickly turned into an experiment of compatibility, and eventually companionship—a sweet and tender companionship unlike anything she’d ever experienced. But in the end their lives were as compatible as orange juice and toothpaste. Their schedules clashed, they were in different phases of parenthood, they couldn’t agree on the same wine—even their yards were at war.

The most heart-wrenching of all? There was no way to fix it. It wasn’t like he could stop being a dad or she could stop taking care of a family that was always on the brink of chaos.

They didn’t fit. And she should have seen it from thebeginning. It would have saved them both a lot of hurt. And she’d hurt Jonah, it had been in every inch of his expression. The way his forehead had caved with confusion, his brows sunken with sadness, and his jaw had clenched hard with heartache. Then there were his eyes, pleading and full of pain and promise. So much promise that she had nearly given in, but then she’d thought of how much pain would come when one of those promises was, yet again, broken. And there would be many. It was inevitable.

The end had been inevitable from the very start. A hard fact she needed to accept.

But she couldn’t think about that today. Today was the final vote for Denver’s Best official announcement. The winner would be in the paper, on local television, even Tasha Hart was coming out in support to help spread the news of, what had been nicknamed, Cupid’s Official Coffee House. And rumor had it that Grinder was a serious contender. She just had to charm the judges with their signature drinks, family-like atmosphere, and supportive community.

If you believed ClickByte, rumor also had it that Jonah was going to either: 1) ask her to go to Paris with him, 2) ask her to move in, or 3) ask her to be his wife. Little did they know Jonah wasn’t even going to be there. And by rumors, she meant polls. There were actual ongoing polls, which she was certain Moira was behind.

What a mess she’d made. No one knew about the breakup, and she hoped to keep it that way, at least until after the ribbon cutting tomorrow. Then she’d come clean, not about the ruse, but about the breakup. If people found out she’d lied it could ruin everything—including Grinder’s standing in the community.

Terrifying as it was, she was going to fess up to her family. She was talking the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.They deserved that. But she’d never let her lapse in judgment endanger her parents’ shop.

Evie was parked in the alleyway that paralleled the side of Grinder, and through the side window of the coffee shop, Evie could see her family and the staff zipping about in preparation for Denver’s Best judges, who were supposed to arrive between eight and ten. Refilling sugar dispensers, setting out fresh cream, stocking the pastry cabinet. She should be in there helping, but instead she’d been in her car trying to cover up her dark circles and bloodshot eyes with makeup and eyedrops.

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