Page 3 of Living on the Edge

My eyebrows inch up.

Rich Fowler is the managing editor ofRock Harder Magazine. He and Dad go way back, and he started the magazine as an alternative toRolling Stone, something less political and more music oriented. In my opinion, it’s a little too focused on drama and gossip, but Dad and Rich are good friends and Dad has freelanced for them since their inception.

“He’s willing to give you a small slot as a reviewer.”

I frown. “A reviewer?”

That sounds incredibly basic.

“You know, albums and CDs and stuff. The pay isn’t great, I think it’s a hundred bucks per review, and you’ll probably only do a few a month, but it’s a foot in the door. He said if you work hard and prove yourself, he’ll think about putting you on the roster.”

The roster.

As a full-time contributing writer.

AtRock Harder Magazine.

I got my degree in journalism but in the two years since I graduated, job opportunities have been few and far between. To get by, I started a small social media channel talking about bands I love, concerts I attend, and new music coming out. I’m not doing too bad, and it’s a good if somewhat unreliable source of income. That’s in addition to waiting tables part time, something Dad doesn’t like.

“Promise me you’ll give it a chance, Ry.”

I open my mouth but close it again.

“Dad, I don’t know if?—”

“I knowRolling Stoneis the holy grail for music journalists, but I don’t have an in there. I have an in atRock Harder. This could make your career. Like I said, the condo is paid for, and the expenses are affordable. You can do this. It will take a little sacrifice in the beginning, but it could pay off big.”

“Rich doesn’t like me,” I say with a shrug. “And I don’t particularly like him.”

“He doesn’t understand your generation, the influencer thing, all of that. But he respects me, and I asked for a favor. A dying wish for a friend of thirty years.”

I wince.

I don’t know if I want to work for Rich. He’s an ass.

“He’s a jerk,” I say, making a face. “Divorced four times, doesn’t talk to any of his kids, and?—”

“Let’s not confuse the personal with the professional. He’s a hell of a writer and editor. People like and respect him. They’ve come to like and respectRock Harder. If you get your name on the roster as one of their contributing writers, it’ll be a huge steppingstone for your career. And it won’t take long for him to see how smart and talented you are if you show some initiative. Give it five years. If at that point you don’t want to work with Rich, or he’s too much of a pain in the ass for it to be fulfilling for you, walk away. Once you have that on your resume, you’ll be able to get a job anywhere. Maybe evenRolling Stone. Just promise me you’ll give this a chance.”

“I usually make enough to support myself as an influencer.” I try another protest, even though it’s a weak one.

“Then why are you waiting tables?” he counters.

“To make sure I have a nice nest egg in case things go wrong or for the months when things are slower.” It’s hard to know how much I’m going to make any given month. I get bonuses based on clicks and videos going viral, but it’s not consistent.

“If you get on the full-time roster atRock Harder, you won’t need a second job. Between that and how many people you already know, you’re going to do great things, honey. I’ve read a lot of your stuff—it’s good. Frankly, I think you’re brilliant. That’s why I want you to live up to your potential. I never did. I was too busy fucking around in the early days, having fun, going on tour with my friends instead of focusing on the big picture. You should do better.”

This is the most lucid he’s been in days and we’re talking about my career?

“Dad, I don’t want to talk about?—”

“But we have to. Because I won’t be here to guide you, encourage you… do the things parents are supposed to do. What I should have been doing all along.”

“I know you don’t understand the influencer stuff, but I love it. I’m good at it. And I’m making money.”

“I know, but you’ve seen how unstable some of those platforms can be. You need something solid—something that will sustain you long-term. We have no idea what social media is going to look like in five years. And once I’m gone, you won’t have anything or anyone to rely on. You also need benefits, like health insurance. Promise me, Ryleigh. Promise me you’ll give it a shot.”

I swallow hard.

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