Page 127 of Living on the Edge

“He can’t leave the band,” I whisper, shaking my head. “I mean, why…” I can’t even formulate a question, it’s so far out of the realm of possibility in my mind.

“For you, silly,” Lexi says. “He knows he screwed up. All I know is, he was on a conference call with Sasha and Casey, talking about the possibility of leaving the band. Giving them a timetable and explaining that it’s a last resort, but that he doesn’t want to blindside them. He’s done enough of that in the last few months.”

“And you didn’t tell me?” Kirsten demands, scowling at Lexi.

“Like I said, I was doing my best not to speak out of turn, but I see now that he was serious. And you’re the reason why.” She turns to me. “Do you love him, Ryleigh?”

“It has nothing to do with love!” I protest. “I?—”

“You didn’t answer the question,” she interrupts softly. “Do you love him?”

I blink away tears. “Yes.”

“You really think he would even consider leaving the band if he didn’t love you too?”

“I don’t want him to leave the band,” I whisper. “Not for me, not for any reason. It’s part of him. The music, the guys…”

“Then come to New York for the shows at the Garden this weekend.”

“I can’t,” I say weakly. “I have a job…they depend on me.”

“They’ll survive. What if you had the flu? Come on, Ryleigh, this is important. No matter what you say, no matter how much he hurt you, you know you love him. And he desperately wants to fix this.”

“Did he send you guys here to talk to me?” I ask suspiciously.

“No.” Kirsten shakes her head. “Sam doesn’t even know I’m here. I left right after class today, and Lexi met me here. We’d already talked about reaching out to you and then thought coming in person would be better.”

“It’s really good to see you,” I admit. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” Kirsten squeezes my hand.

“Fly out Saturday morning,” Lexi says. “I’ll have a car pick you up at the airport and leave a pass for you at the venue. You can meet us there for soundcheck and then we’ll wing it. Come on, you can’t say no to a pregnant lady.” She pats her now very visible belly—she was still wearing her regular clothes when I left the tour.

I sigh, resting my head in my hand. “What if he doesn’t want to see me?”

Kirsten makes a face. “Seriously? He’s fucking miserable without you. Trust me. Sam says he just drinks until he passes out most nights. Doesn’t party with them, isn’t interested in groupies…he does nothing but show up for shows.”

That hurts me.

Knowing that he’s hurting doesn’t make me feel any better.

And suddenly, though I’m skeptical, I’m also a tiny bit hopeful.

If he misses me so much he’s willing to leave the band, maybe it’s worth having a conversation.

Even if we can’t work things out, I don’t want him to quit Crimson Edge.

If nothing else, I have to save him from himself.

And maybe, if I’m lucky, get back the man I love in the process.

Chapter40

Angus

The first showat Madison Square Garden is the most amazing performance I’ve ever experienced. Both nights are sold out and we were riding on a high after last night’s show, but tonight I’m feeling a touch of anxiety.

There’s a lot of chaos around us.

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