Page 99 of If You Stayed

He paused his movements. His head tilted. He snickered. “Go to bed, Kierra.”

I stood tall. “No. I want a divorce.”

“We’ve talked about this before. If you want out, then go.”

“I want Ava, too. She’ll stay with me, and we can work out some coparenting thing. If you take anger management courses.”

“Anger management? Oh, fuck off, Kierra.”

“I’m serious.”

“Me too. Fuck off. I don’t have anger issues. And you aren’t taking my daughter. If you want to leave, then leave. Go. But Ava stays with me.”

“She’s not only yours. She’s mine. Just like I’m hers.” If anything, I spent more time with our daughter than Henry ever had. His world was his work, and Ava received the crumbs of time that he had left after he poured all of himself into his tech company. Still, over the past few months, it seemed his anger was growing more and more intense. He seemed to snap more often, too. My greatest fear was that if I wasn’t around to be his emotional punching bag, if it was only Ava and him when he came home with his issues, that he’d take them out on her.

“Nothing about her is yours,” Henry argued. “Not her laugh, not her smile, not her DNA. And we agreed that if we ever went our separate ways, that Ava would be with me. Or do you not remember the documents we signed before we married?”

I remembered them. But when we signed them, I never imagined him becoming the creature that he had become. I thought always and forever meant exactly that when we spoke our vows—always and forever. I didn’t know it meant “always until Henry decided to become a whole different person.”

Or perhaps this was who he’d always been. Perhaps, he was just skilled in hiding his demons for a long time until they became too loud and poured out all over the place.

“Henry—”

“Go,” he ordered, gesturing toward the foyer. “Get some suitcases and get out, Kierra. Trust me, Ava doesn’t need such a weak woman around her anyway. I mean, hell. What kind of woman are you? I’ve been cheating on you for years, yelling at you, belittling you, and you just take it because you’re weak.”

“I’m not weak,” I whispered, trying to shake off his words and not let them implant in me.

I’m strong, I’m strong, I’m strong.

“No, you are. You’re fucking pathetic, too. You’re weak and pathetic, and without Ava, you’re nothing. And guess what? You just lost her forever. You’re nothing, Kierra. Nothing.”

“Stop it, Henry.”

“Nothing,” he echoed, getting right in my face. His words spat out as he said it again. “Nothing.”

“You don’t see it, do you?”

“See what?” he asked.

“How you’re acting just like your father.”

Without a second’s pause, his hand rose and landed straight against my cheek—hard.

He slapped me.

I stood there frozen in place as the realization of his actions settled into both of us. My body broke into shivers as he stood in front of me, wide-eyed with panic. My cheek stung from the intensity of his smack, and my heart shattered into pieces as Irealized one of the truths I’d held about Henry was no longer a reality.

At least he never hit me.

He took a step away from me and placed his hands on top of his head, stunned by his own actions.

“Fuck,” he muttered, his eyes filling with tears. “Fuck, Kierra.”

He paced slightly as I remained frozen. He then moved back over to me and forced me into a hug. He pulled me in to him, holding on as if he was trying to hold on forever. “Why did you do that?” he whispered against my ear as he pressed my body to his. “Why would you make me do that?” he cried, his tears falling against my cheek. “We were doing so fucking good tonight.”

I felt sick.

I needed him off me, but I feared the consequences of my actions. What if they sent that into a deeper spiral? What if I said the wrong thing? What if my words made the situation worse? I should’ve kept it all to myself. I should’ve never spoken up about Ramona. I should’ve shut up and sat down and played my role in our make-believe marriage.

---