Page 82 of If You Stayed

“Gabriel, it’s more complicated—”

“Thanks for sharing this,” he said, his voice growing colder than before. I saw the shift in his body as he tensed and stood taller. “I should get back to the shower.”

“Gabriel, wait—”

“No, it’s fine. It’s not a big deal. I’m fine.”

“You’re not.”

“How the hell would you know? You knew me before, Kierra. You don’t have a damn clue who I am now,” he snapped.

That hurt, but I couldn’t blame him. I’d just watched him go through a tailspin of emotions within a few minutes. It was a lot for him to take in all at once, and now he was transitioning straight into anger.

But he was Gabriel, after all, so his anger wasn’t loud. It simmered behind his stare. It raked repeatedly through his hair. It sat against his clenched jaw.

“You’re mad,” I whispered.

“I’m not,” he lied.

He wouldn’t look at me. I couldn’t blame him. I went weeks without telling him the truth. I didn’t expect him to simply roll over and take the reveal without an array of emotions.

“Gabriel…”

He held up a silencing hand and began to pace. He rubbed his hands against his face repeatedly, mumbling under his breath.

“Gabe! We are about to cut the cake and we can’t find the…” Amma came around the corner to find Gabriel and me standing in the hallway. Her gaze locked with mine for a second, confusion swirling in her brown eyes, before she looked at her son. “Is everything okay here?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine,” Gabriel huffed, shaking his head as a short chuckle left his mouth. “Did you know that Kierra and I were in love in the past?” He kept laughing. “Who am I kidding? Of course you knew, but for some reason, you both thought it would be best to lie to me about it. So, yeah. Everything’s fine. I’m just surrounded by fucking liars. Let me go help with the cake.”

He stormed off, leaving me standing there speechless. Amma’s eyes locked with mine. I saw nothing but rage shooting through her.

I took a step toward her. “Amma…”

“What is wrong with you?” she whisper-shouted. “You told him?”

“I had to. He kept going on about how he felt a connection with me, and it felt wrong to lie to him.”

“I didn’t ask you to lie. I asked you to stay away.”

“I know, I know. It was impossible to do that, though.”

“No,” she said. “It wasn’t. You’re just so selfish that you couldn’t stop yourself from pushing back into his life.”

My stomach knotted up and I shook my head. “I didn’t tell him about Elijah, Amma, but I you need to. You should tell him everything. He deserves to know. I love him, and I can’t keep Elijah from him. You shouldn’t want to, either. Even though it’s hard. He deserves to know his brother.”

“You can’t do that…”

“One week,” I warned. “I’ll give you one week to tell him. Otherwise, I will.”

“We were fine while you were gone. We were good.” Her eyes shut and she shook her head in disbelief. “You were dead to us. Why couldn’t you just stay dead?” she whispered, her body slightly trembling.

As she walked away, my chest filled with heavy levels of guilt as if I’d made a mistake by telling Gabriel. But I knew I hadn’t. That made it hurt even more.

I stayed in the hallway for a few minutes longer. I didn’t know if I could find the strength to walk back into the baby shower to see Gabriel. To face Amma again. Maybe she was right. Maybe I should’ve stayed out of Gabriel’s life, but it felt like the universe had brought him back to me. How was I supposed to simply walk away again after I was given a second chance?

“Mom? Mom!” Ava called out, hurrying into the hallway. The moment she found me, her lips turned up in the biggest grin. “Hey! What are you doing here? It’s time for cake.”

I pushed out a fake smile and tried to keep myself from sobbing. I wrapped an arm around Ava as I nodded my head. “Yes, okay. Let’s have some cake.”

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