Page 116 of If You Stayed

“It has everything to do with you. If it wasn’t for you and your lies, this Gabriel thing would’ve never happened.”

I turned to walk toward the kitchen, not wanting to go back and forth with him. I was burned out both mentally and spiritually. My heart was exhausted, and I was running on empty. All I wanted to do was disappear for a while. I wanted to crawl into a dark cave and stay hidden away from the world, from Henry.

I wished I were invisible.

I placed the dishes into the sink, and Henry appeared right behind me. He gripped my wrists from behind and slammed my hands against the edge of the counter, pinning them down. His body pressed against mine as I closed my eyes, scared of what he’d do next. Everything slowed whenever he pinned me down. I hated that I didn’t go with Ava. I should’ve gone with her.

His hot breath melted against my skin, reminding me of his control over me. He tilted my head slightly and rubbed his nose against my earlobe. “Did you fuck him in our house, too?” he whispered.

What was I supposed to do when the devil was the man who I said “I do” to?

Henry wasn’t strong, but he was stronger than me.

Henry wasn’t big, but he was bigger than me.

And he was beginning to unravel faster and faster with every passing moment.

“Please let me go, Henry,” I whispered, praying he didn’t sense the fear in my tone. He fed off that—my fear. He loved to know that he made me uneasy. That he had control over my comfort level, over my feeling of safety.

He tightened his grip on my wrists.

Did he do the same to Claire?

She was only seventeen when they’d met.

A little girl.

Only three years older than Ava was now.

My mind couldn’t wrap around the idea of a grown man preying on a child. Let alone someone who had been through as much as Claire had.

“I’ll let you go when I’m ready,” he hissed against my ear.

“Is that what you told Claire Dune?” I replied.

The words slipped through my lips and must’ve felt like a slam against his chest, because he dropped his hold on me.

He stepped backward and arched an eyebrow toward me. “What did you just say to me?”

“So you know her?” I asked.

“How do you know Claire?”

“Is she Ava’s mother?”

He shook his head. “No. Of course not. I told you, Ava’s mother was a junkie psycho.”

“Yes, that’s what you told me. But is that actually true?”

“How do you know Claire Dune?” he asked again, avoidingmy question.

“She’s a client of mine.”

The confusion in his eyes was as clear as day. I was nervous about what was going to happen next, because I never knew how he was going to react. Especially as of late, because he seemed easily triggered.

He took a step back, turned away from me and muttered something before saying, “I need space. Maybe you should stay somewhere else tonight like Ava. I can’t leave because I have to pack. Tomorrow I’m heading to China for work. We can talk when I’m back in town.”

I didn’t know what else to say except for one word. “Okay.”

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