Page 12 of If You Stayed

I shot her a dirty look before stomping my feet to my tree house. The tree house that Dad had built for me. I climbed the ladder and ignored Mom the whole way up. When I reached the tree house, I felt as if I was going to cry. Or shout. Or shout and cry. I felt so much and I didn’t know what any of it meant, which made me even angrier.

When I heard someone climbing the ladder, I was certain it was Mom coming to tell me to head back inside and finish my homework. But instead there was Kierra and her stupid face storming into my space.

“You can’t be mean to her!” Kierra yelled at me as she stepped into the tree house. “You can’t talk to your mom like that!”

“It’s none of your business,” I said as my chest rose and fell.

“You’re making her really sad, Gabriel. You need to knock it off now.”

“Who are you to tell me what to do?” I grumbled, annoyed with her stupid face that for some reason made my stomach feel weird whenever she looked at me. I kicked the baseball on the floor across the tree house because I was so annoyed. The baseball wasn’t even supposed to be in the tree house. It wassupposed to be in Dad’s glove in the backyard, so we could play catch together.

Kierra stood tall, even though she was short. “I’m me! And I get to tell you when you’re acting like a stupid boy.”

“Whatever, Kierra. Leave,” I huffed, feeling my eyes start to water up. I wished that would stop happening so much. But whenever I felt anger lately, I’d feel like crying, too. And I always felt angry, which meant I always cried, too.

Kierra must’ve noticed because she got quiet. I didn’t even know she had the kind of mouth that could shut up. Most of the time, she was just yap-yap-yapping about nothing.

Now, she was quiet.

Freakishly quiet.

Next, she did something I didn’t expect her to do.

She hugged me.

Then, I did something I didn’t expect to do.

I hugged her back.

I didn’t understand why, but something about Kierra’s hugs made me feel safe. I hadn’t known I felt unsafe until her arms wrapped around me, just like when we were in the hospital the day Dad died. Most of the time, I didn’t want anyone to talk to me, let alone hold me. But when Kierra hugged me, I felt like I could breathe again. It was like her hugs reminded my heart to continue to beat.

She held on for a long time, and I didn’t try to pull away. I wanted to stay there with my arms wrapped around her for five more minutes. For ten more minutes. For sixty more minutes.

As long as she’d hold me, I wanted to hold her back.

“Gabriel?” she whispered as we kept embracing.

“What?”

“Want to play catch?”

I stepped back and wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. “Are you any good at catch?”

She shook her head. “Nope.”

“Fine.” I grumbled and rolled my eyes as I picked up Dad’s baseball. “I’ll show you, but if you suck, I’ll tell you.”

“If you tell me I suck, I’ll tell you that you have a big nose, Toad.”

I smiled. Maybe for the first time in weeks because for a moment everything felt normal again. “Deal. Come on, dick.”

4

Kierra

Present Day

“What took you so long?” Henry whispered as I emerged back at the dinner party. He eyed me up and down once before grimacing. It was clear he wasn’t a fan of my outfit change, but he couldn’t say that in a crowded room with his associates and friends.

---