Page 117 of If You Stayed

This release of me sent a chill down my spine as he walked away. I was thankful that he let me go, and I realized how quickly his reaction could’ve gone badly. Relief raked through my system as I realized the next steps I’d need to do while he was gone to China.

I had no plans to talk to him once he made it back into town. I had no plans to work things out.

The only thing on my mind now was for me—and Ava—to escape.

All I wanted was to be free.

30

Kierra

I showed up to Tamera’s house with a duffel bag and a defeatedsmile. “Hi.”

She smiled at me as she opened her screen door. Her eyes fell to the bag, and she nodded in a knowing way. “Okay, sweetheart. Come on in and tell me everything. I’ll make us a pot of coffee.”

***

“Did you know Ava’s biological mother?” I asked Tamera as we sat on her back porch talking.

“Claire?”

“Yeah.”

“I did. She was young. Very young. But a sweet girl. Henry painted her as a crazy woman, but truthfully that was when I realized he had some darkness in him. She was so young and naive. She had a lot of emotional stuff going on at her home, too. I figured that was why she signed over the rightsfor Ava.”

“Do you think she wanted to do that?”

Tamera shrugged. “I think she was so damaged before and after Henry that she just wanted some form of peace. Pair that with postpartum depression and that woman didn’t have much of a chance.”

I rubbed my hands up and down my arms. “She showed up as a client of mine.”

She sat straighter. “Who? Claire?”

I nodded. “She’s been a client of mine since we’ve moved.”

“My goodness. How did you find out she was Ava’s mother?” she asked.

“She told me today. She knew the whole time that I was Ava’s stepmother and wanted to find a way to get close to Ava. I guess Henry has a restraining order against her. She said she just wanted to make sure Ava was okay.”

“Oh goodness. That’s a lot.”

I sighed and brushed my hand through my hair. “Life feels like a lot.”

“I think this is the first time I’m truly realizing that my son is just like his father. I’ve tried to convince myself that Henry was different. That no parts of his father lived within that boy’s soul, but I knew that was a lie early on. I knew there were parts of me that lived within Henry, but most of them belonged to Jack,” Tamera confessed. “Do you know how much that hurts? To see the baby I once carried in my own womb turn out to be such a monster.”

“Tamera…” I sighed, feeling awful for dragging her intothis situation. “I’m so sorry.”

“Does he hurt you?” she asked. “Does he belittle you? Has he ever put his hands on you?”

I paused for a moment. A part of me wanted to protect the image of her son for her. Yet my head nodded. Her eyes flooded with tears as she stared out into the night sky. She sniffled a little with a slight shake of her head. I felt instant guilt from telling her that.

“He scares you?” she questioned.

“More often than not.”

“I thought it would be a onetime situation with his father.” She fiddled with her hands. “It’s never only once. It was only the first time. And you never really forget the first time. The first time Jack hit me, I almost thought I’d imagined it. We’d been married for years before it happened, and we were so deeply in love at first. I couldn’t wrap my mind around the idea that someone I loved could do something so…cruel. I couldn’t comprehend that. I loved him. He loved me, too. The second time he hit me, I blamed myself for making a mess around the house. The third time, I had a panic attack at the stoplight we were at. I was pregnant with Henry, and he punched me in my stomach.”

“Oh my goodness,” I gasped as tears began rolling down my cheeks.

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