Page 121 of Landon & Shay: Part Two

I wanted to share a few words with you about how you’ve changed my life for the better, how without you, there is no home.

You’re the definition of strength and love. Not only love for others, but for yourself. It’s been an honor to watch how you’ve grown into the strong woman that you are today. You fight for your happiness in all aspects of your life, and you inspire me to be better. You push me to chase my dreams without concerns of the opinions of others. You calm the storm inside my head. When I am in the depths of a warzone, you still my mind.

You are my soulmate, my heartbeats, my fairy tale love, and I cannot say enough how much you’ve shaped me into a better person.

When you walk down the aisle toward me in that beautiful gown, know that I am promising you my forever. I am promising you my ups and downs. I am promising you I’ll put in the work to make you happy. To make myself happy. To make us happy.

There was a point in my life where I never thought I’d make it to my thirties. I’d lived with a cloud of darkness hovering over me that I thought would never clear, then you came into my life and shone your life on me. You brought me to a place where I’d learned to make peace with my demons, not by enabling me, but by pushing me to want more for myself. To give myself the best chance at life.

You’ve saved me.

Day in and day out, you save my life.

I love you times two. From now until forever. I cannot wait for you to be my wife.

Here’s to our story. Our struggles, our light.

Thank you for the beautiful words you’ve given me throughout the years.

I am the man I am today, because of your love.

-Satan

P.S. You look so beautiful today. Don’t worry, I’m not around the corner sneaking a peek. I just know that no matter what’s on your body, you always glow. I hope you can feel my love today from a distance. I’m sending it in waves.

My lips curved up into the biggest smile as my heart pounded against my chest. Once upon a time, I fell in love with a boy. A beautiful, broken boy who had his own world of struggles. He fought his demons. He went to battle each day and came back stronger than before, and he was mine.

All his bumps, all his bruises, and all his battle scars were mine, and I loved every single one.

* * *

Landon

Six years later

“And the winnerfor best screenplay goes to”—the announcer took his time opening the envelope as my hand stayed wrapped tightly in Shay’s grip—“Steven Kane forBeyond.”

The room cheered loudly for Steven as he walked up the steps of the stage to accept his Oscar for the night. Shay and I applauded for him as he delivered his speech. The guy even cried, which was expected. He’d been up for ten Oscars in the past and had never won one in his life.

Still, I felt as if my wife had been robbed from the award.

Shay had been nominated for her first ever Oscar, and she’d taken the loss the way she’d taken every moment in her life: with grace and humility. She clapped for Steven with a true genuine smile against her lips, and that was the reason I loved her the most: because she knew how to be happy for others. She understood that Steven’s success didn’t deem her as a failure. She knew that no matter what, she was good enough—with or without others telling her so.

She never took me up on my offer to pass on her name in order to get her work seen to the world, though, oddly enough, Sarah Sims helped her out on that front. All those years ago after Sarah blasted Shay’s story onGood Morning America, a few agents reached out to Shay, asking her if she was in need of representation. It was funny how the universe worked—what seemed like the end of Shay’s dreams coming true was truly just the beginning.

From there, she worked hard with her new agent, Maggie Estate, to reach her goals. The first time we’d watched her film in the movie theater, I cried like a fucking baby because I was so proud of her. She was the definition of perseverance. Throughout the years, Shay had been told ‘no’ dozens of times, but she never gave up on her dreams because her belief in herself was bigger than any other person’s ‘no’.

“Someday, someone will have to say ‘yes’,” she’d always say. “So, now’s not the time to quit.”

I loved that about her—her willingness to never give up on anything. Thankfully she never gave up on me. Even through our darkest days, she still kept a part of her heart open for our love.

I was never as good as she was at not drowning in self-doubts, but she taught me how to breathe through the hard times. She taught me that every second was a chance to begin again. Whenever I fell, I’d remember that I could stand up and begin again. When I fell, Shay was there reaching out toward me with her love, helping me back to my feet.

I’d wished I could’ve said I cured myself of my depression, but that wasn’t the case. I did, however, learn to honor my darkness. To not push it to the side, and to have truthful conversations with my despair. I’d allowed myself to feel what I had to feel sometimes to work through my issues. Day in and day out, I’d unpacked my boxes, and the beautiful thing about unpacking was that I was able to make room for the beautiful things coming into my world.

Three things to be exact.

Three good things.

---