Page 41 of Landon & Shay: Part One

She took a step backward. She didn’t pick me.

I was an idiot for thinking she would.

She grabbed the handle of her suitcase. “I’m so sorry, Landon. I truly am. There’s so much you don’t know, so much you don’t understand…and I want to explain it all to you. I do, but this job opportunity is something I can’t pass up right now. I will explain more when I get a chance, but—”

“Don’t bother,” I hissed, turning around and walking into the house. “Safe travels.”

She didn’t follow after me.

The house was empty again, and I headed to my bedroom where I lay in my bed. My hands formed fists, and I pounded them against my forehead.

“Fuck!” I hollered, and it woke the sleeping Ham in the corner.

“Fuck!” I pounded harder, trying to push the tears back, trying to stop being a little bitch about being alone.

Ham got up from his sleeping position and stretched out his body before wobbling over to me and climbing into the bed. He pushed himself under my arms, and I nudged him away. Every time I pushed him away, he kept coming back. Again, and again, and again.

“Ham! Go away!” I shouted, annoyed with the stupid dog.

But he didn’t care. He just kept wagging his stupid, short Corgi tail, and he wiggled his way into my arms again. Finally, I surrendered and let him be. I wrapped my grip around him, and I refused to let myself cry.

We stayed there for a while.

It was quiet again. The walls echoed memories of yesterday, and sleep refused to come that night.

* * *

The next afternoon,I pulled myself out of bed when my doorbell rang. I glanced over to my clock, well aware that it was Maria, coming to clean.

As I opened the door, she gave me her bright smile, but it quickly faded the moment her eyes fell on me. A frown found her lips.

I must’ve looked as bad as I felt.

“How’s your heart today, Landon?” she asked me.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

My eyes watered over at her words, and I shut them so the emotion wouldn’t fall down my cheeks. I needed to be a man. I needed to man up.

But Maria’s question hit me hard that morning after a hard, hard night.

I didn’t answer because I knew if words left my mouth, they’d crack, and I’d fall apart.

She didn’t say another word. She simply stepped forward and wrapped me in a hug. She held on tight, and I allowed her to do so. Truth was, without her, I would’ve fallen.

She lay her head against my chest and didn’t let me go. I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her back.

“It’s still there, Landon,” Maria swore. “Your heart—I still hear it beating. You’re good. You’re okay. You’re all right.”

That broke me even more.

She began to pray for me, and I didn’t know why. All the prayers she offered up were clearly being unheard. Maybe God’s answering machine was full, and he wasn’t accepting any more messages. Maybe he was busy taking someone else’s calls at the time Maria prayed. Or maybe, just maybe, there wasn’t a god at all. Maybe Maria was praying to a wish, a hope, a dream.

She’d prayed for Lance, too.

Obviously, that hadn’t worked out too great.

Still, she prayed.

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