Page 48 of Behind the Bars

“Jazz?”

“Yes,Eli?”

“I’m going to k-kiss younow?”

I snickered, a chill running down my spine. “Is that aquestion?”

He shook his head. “No.”

Tears rolled down my cheeks and I closed my eyes. “I’ve never beenkissed.”

He raised an eyebrow. “But…”

I nodded. “I know. It turns out all the guys before you weren’t interested in kisses,” I said with shame in myvoice.

“It’s okay,” he promised. “I’ve never been kissedeither.”

I nodded, my stomach filled with nerves. “I hate that our first kiss is also going to be ourlast.”

“No. This won’t be the last time. The next time we see each other the first thing I’m going to do is kiss you for everything we missed. The next time I kiss you, it’s going to meanforever.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

And I felt his promise, too. I gasped lightly as his lips brushed against mine. He kissed me so gently, yet I felt it from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. It was sweet, and sad, and happy, andreal.

So, soreal.

So that’s what it’s supposed to feel like. That’s how my heart is supposed tobeat.

This islove.

Even though I was leaving the next day, I believed I’d be okay. I’d be okay because Elliott had shown me what true love was meant to feel like and taste like, and nothing could ever steal that feeling away from me. Even when life got dark, that feeling would sit in the back of mymind.

Elliott Adams, his love, and his gentle kisses that promised meforever.

Chapter Twelve

Elliott

For the past week,Mom had been frowning at me over dinner. She could see my sadness, but I tried to hide it so she wouldn’t be sosad.

“I’m fine,” I told her, twirling around the pasta on my plate with myfork.

“It’s okay if you aren’t,” she told me. Katie had a grimace on her face, too. They both felt so bad for me. “It’s okay to not be okay all thetime.”

I shrugged. “Can I go to my room? I’m not thathungry.”

“Of course. Let me know if you need anything, and I know it’s a school night, but if you want to play video games with Jason, that’s fine by me,” Mom said, hoping to make mesmile.

I smiled for her. “Okay.”

“I love you,Eli.”

“I love you, too,Mom.”

I lay in my bed and put in my earbuds to listen to music. The saddest part of jazz music was how each song affected you differently based on your own mood. Some of my favorite songs made me want to cry, while others made me want to throw my iPod against awall.

---