Page 95 of Behind the Bars

I had so many things I wanted to say, but seeing his hard exterior made me feel uncomfortable speaking up at all. I wanted to ask and tell himeverything.

Where have youbeen?

What makes youcry?

What makes yousmile?

What do you do for aliving?

Did you missme?

I missedyou.

Most of all, I wanted to hold him, to hug him, to remember him, but I knew Icouldn’t.

I couldn’t because I knew that was the last thing he wanted. His body language told me that. We sat quietly for some time, saying everything in our minds, but nothing out loud until I couldn’t deal with the silence anylonger.

“I thought I’d never see you again,” I confessed, fully raw to my own emotions. “And then when I did see you the way you kissedme—”

“That was a m-mistake,” he cutin.

“It didn’t feel likeone.”

“And yet, it was.” He shrugged before he stood up and walked away, without thought of turning around. He left me completelybaffled.

I stayed in the waiting room as long as I could, waiting for Elliott to return, but he didn’t come back. I went back into TJ’s room for my visit, and when we finished our talk, Elliott was still missing. That sat heavily in my heart for more than one reason. I left the hospital and headed into work, dazed andconfused.

Elliott Adams had changed so much, and yet he was still so much thesame.

He’d been broken into so many pieces, and yet he was still fullyhimself.

Chapter Thirty-Two

Jasmine

It wasa rainy Saturday when TJ was released from the hospital. Laura and I took him to his house while Elliott went to a job interview. TJ argued that he’d be okay, staying alone, but that wasn’t true. His balance was off-kilter, and we all worried about him being byhimself.

Laura and I spent the morning with TJ, arguing about the living arrangements. He was going back and forth with us over what would happen over the comingweeks.

“It’s really okay, TJ. I can take some time off work and help look after you more,” Laura told him, trying to ease the guilt he felt for crashing into herlife.

“No, no, no. The last thing you need to do is uproot your life for me. You’re already dealing with so much, working two jobs day and night. Taking care of me is too much, and I know my insurance doesn’t really cover nursing assistance, but that’s okay. I’ll be okay on myown.”

“TJ, you fell this morning at the hospital,” she admonished. “You can’t bealone.”

“I can help him during the day,” I chimedin.

“No, it’s not your responsibility. I’m not your child. Besides, that doesn’t fix anything. I’d still be alone at night. I might as well be alone during the day,too.”

“TJ, that’s crazy,” I told him. “There’s no way we’re leaving youalone.”

“You have to.” He shrugged. “I’m old. It’sokay.”

“That’s exactly why it’s not okay. You fell this morning, and I was there to help you. What if it happens again?” Lauraasked.

“It has happened before, and I was able to help myselfup.”

His words felt like a sucker punch. “You’ve fallen before,TJ?”

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