Page 31 of Behind the Bars

He lifted his head a bit. “You mean you’re a normal teenager who doesn’t listen to old-school jazz? Shocking,” hejoked.

I laughed. “Can you playsomething?”

“Sure.” He pulled out his iPod and handed me an earbud. “Don’t worry, I cleanedthem.”

I placed it in my ear and closed myeyes.

As the music started, chills raced down my spine. The trumpets, the saxophones, the pain, the joy…it lit me up inside, but what warmed me the most was turning my head to face Elliott. His eyes were shut, and his lips were turned up into the happiest of grins. This was his happy place. His safe haven was in jazz. It was as if the awful moments of the night faded away as he took in thesounds.

I loved how music savedhim.

“Listen to her voice,” he told me, his eyes still shut. “Listen to how she cries as she sings. It’s painful,right?”

“Yes.” It hurt to listen to the woman’s voice. It hurt to hear her suffering behind the bars she sang, but still…it was beautiful. Tears fell down my cheeks, my emotions falling out of me. “But it’s sobeautiful.”

He opened his eyes and turned his head to face mine. Our eyes locked. “Exactly.”

“Who knew things could be painfullybeautiful?”

“Yeah.” He wiped away my tears and shrugged. “Whoknew?”

We grew closer, my heart racing, my chest tight, my butterflies still strong. We were so close, and his lips were hovering near mine.He’s going to kiss me, I thought to myself. The moment was there, and I knew he was going to seizeit.

“Eli,” I whispered, my lips hovering nearhis.

“Jazz,” he whisperedback.

But I couldn’t continue speaking. My eyes closed, and I waited. I was going to have my first real kiss with the first boy I’d ever really cared for, and right before it happened, Elliott spoke. “Why did you hook up with thoseboys?”

My eyes sprang open, and I saw the sincerest gaze staring back at me. “What?”

“Was it because of me?” he asked nervously. “Did they say they’d stop bullying me if you hooked up withthem?”

“It doesn’tmatter.”

“It matters alot.”

My lips parted, and my voice cracked. “It’s just sex,Elliott.”

He sat up on his elbows, confusion in his stare. “What?”

“I said it’s justsex.”

He stood up from the sofa and kept shaking his head back and forth. “Who told youthat?”

I chuckled lightly, confused by his sudden change of mood. “The first guy I ever slept with told me that. I told him I loved him, and he told me it was just sex, nothing else. Which is fine. It’s not a bigdeal.”

“No,” Elliott argued, still shaking his head. “No,” he said once more,sternly.

“What’s wrong withyou?”

“That’s not true. It is a big deal.” He paused his movements, and his hazel eyes locked with mine. His tone was so adamant, so sure his words hit me hard in my chest. “It’s not justsex.”

Before I could reply, I heard keys jingling outside thedoor.

“Oh crap!” I hissed, falling off the sofa and hurrying to my feet. Elliott froze, and as the door opened, I felt a stabbing in my gut when I saw Ray and Mama standingthere.

Mama’s face went white when her eyes landed on Elliott, and then her gaze turned livid. “What the hell is going on?” shebarked.

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