Page 133 of Behind the Bars

“You were only what, seventeen or eighteen when you were pregnant? Did they turn their backs on you? Did they call you a failure? Did they push you away?” Her bottom lip trembled. I knew I was hitting a nerve. “Were you supposed to be theirstar?”

“My parents were trash, and my career was my way out.” Her voice cracked, but she didn’t dare let a tear fall—that would show weakness. “My mother was a drug addict and got knocked up by my father—the drunk—at seventeen. I grew up in a trailer, and worked my ass off to get far away from thatlife.”

“Then you got pregnant withme.”

“Yes.” She nodded. “I became my mother, and you became my biggestmistake.”

“Hey—” Elliott started, but I shook myhead.

“It’s okay,” I told him. It was my battle to fight, not his. I turned back to Mama. “I’m sorry about your parents and the way your childhood played out, but you’re wrong about me failing you. You had issues before me. I am not yourfailure.”

“Like hell you aren’t!” she barked, marching over to me. “Everything you’ve ever done has broken my heart. You have let me down since the day you were born, taking away the only shot I had at a real career of my own. So, what doIdo? I work my ass off to make you something. To give you what I’ve always dreamed of, and what doyoudo?! You toss it away because your feelings were hurt?! You’re a child, and I wish to God you weren’t a child of mine,” she sneered with hatred in hervoice.

I felt it—her hatred, but still, love existed inside ofme.

My skin crawled at her words, but I didn’t crumble. I didn’t falter as she spat her words my way. “Tell me about my father,” I softlyspoke.

She stumbled a little. “What?”

“Tell me about myfather.”

“Your father was a monster, just like mine. He was a drug addict who took more from me than anyone, and then left me the moment he found out about you. He was weak. Just likeyou.”

I shook my head. “No. That’s not myfather.”

“Excuseme?”

“My father’s name is Ray Gable. He’s the lead singer of Peter’s Peaks, and a great man. He has a heart of gold, and he’d do anything to make sure I was okay. Now, tell me about mymother.”

“I’m yourmother.”

I shook my head. “No. You’re not my mother.” She didn’t reply, and I cleared my throat. “My mother wouldn’t treat me the way you have. My mother wouldn’t push me to be something I never wanted to become. My mother would’ve loved me through all the bad times. She would’ve listened tome.”

“You’re so selfish,” she hissed. “I gave you everything. You could’ve been a popstar.”

“I never wanted to be a pop star. I singsoul.”

“You don’t. You were never a soulsinger!”

“That’s all Iam!”

“I want you to leave,” she told me. “I want you to leave and not come back.Ever.”

I took a deep breath, and for the first time in forever I finally started to let her go. It was slow, and painful, but I knew with pain came healing. Over time things would get better and my breaths would become calmer, but at least I could walk away knowing I gave it my all. I tried, and that had to be goodenough.

I turned to Elliott and gave him a small smile. “Youready?

He stood up and placed a hand on my lower back. “Are you allright?”

“Yes. I will be. Let’s gohome.”

We started walking away, and I heard her shout atme.

“You’re making the biggest mistake of your life! Leaving your shot at a career for what? For love?! What a foolish child you are. You were always afool.”

I took a deep breath, and I felt it as it hit me--mytruth.

I closed my eyes and turned toward her. As my lips parted, the words flowed freely from my lips. The song was “Palace”, by Sam Smith, and it summed up everything I’d ever felt for Mama. It showcased my love, my need, my want to be her daughter. To make her proud. To be who she always wanted me to be. We built a palace of a career I never wanted to live in. And for years I lived in that palace because I wanted to be her princess, and because I lovedher.

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