Page 126 of Behind the Bars

Truth was, there was a darkness that hovered over Todd. It was a heavy cloud, and I realize now that I was the one who placed it there. I ignored his cries, so his days grewdark.

My son did the act, yes. He took your daughter’s life, but if there’s anyone else to blame, I know it’sme.

I should’ve loved him better. I should’ve donemore.

Five years ago, my eldest son moved away, and I haven’t heard from him since. Three months ago, my husband took his own life. It was too much forhim.

It’s been too much for usall.

Todd wrote me a few weeks back, asking me to reach out to you and your son. He wanted me to express how heavy his heart is with what happened, how weighted his painis.

He wanted to know if he could somehow express that toyou.

He wanted me to ask if you’d be willing to visit him at the Louisiana StatePenitentiary.

I know this is a lot, and if I do not hear from you, I will fully understand and will not reach outagain.

I again express my deepest sorrows for the loss of Katie. I know my apologies will never be enough and will always appear empty, but do know that they exist. Do know that there isn’t a moment that goes by that I don’t think of your suffering and wish I could ease itaway.

I hope to hear from yousoon.

If not, I understand and send blessings yourway.

-MarieClause

“This is bu-bullshit,”I hissed. “How dare she even write to you! How dare she reach out!” I hollered, my blood boiling. I was livid at her words, at her apologies. The nerve she had to actually walk up to my mother’s mailbox and leave that kind of message for her—it enragedme.

“Calm down, son,” TJurged.

“No.” I paced back and forth, my hands forming fists. “We should report this. We should let the cops know that these people, thesemonstersare crossing lines. They are going to pay for this. They aren’t allowedto—”

“Her husband committed suicide, and her other son moved away, Elliott. It’s notthey, it’s only her,” Mominterjected.

“But still, she had no rightto—”

“I’m meeting withhim.”

My heart snapped in half as I turned to face her. “What?”

She had tears rolling down her cheeks, and her body shook as TJ comforted her. “I’m meeting with him. I’ve already decided, Eli. I just called you over to see if you wanted to come withme.”

“You’re…you…” My mind was jumbled, and words wouldn’t leave my mouth. She was talking insane. She was playing with the devil, the same devil who had taken away my sister—her daughter. “Youcan’t.”

“Iam.”

“Eli…” Jasmine started, standing up to walk toward me, but I tossed my hand up to warn herback.

My eyes peered into Mom’s and I shook my head. “How could you do this?” I asked, baffled by her choices. We owed these people nothing. They had taken from us, not the other way around. “You’re making the bi-biggest mistake of yourlife.”

I marched out the front door, and it didn’t take long for Jasmine to race after me and grab my arm. “Eli, wait!” she said, grabbing myarm.

I tensed up at her touch and couldn’t look her way. No. She’d try to make me understand. She’d try to break through to me. “Jasmine?” Iwhispered.

“Yes.”

“Let mego.”

“No, Elliott. I won’t. I can’t. Let’s go talk to her.Let’s—”

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