Page 123 of Behind the Bars

Every second, everytouch…

“You are…are…you are my world,” he promised with tired breaths, lying beside me in his bed. “You are my fuckingworld.”

And he wasmine.

My lover, my friend, my beginnings, my ends. He was everything I wanted to have and everything I had thought I’d never witnessagain.

I loved how we physically connected that night, but my favorite part was after the sex, when we lay there, tangled up in one another’sarms.

Our eyes were heavy, but we couldn’t let go of the feeling of bliss we discovered. I couldn’t stop running my fingers across his chest, and he couldn’t stop gently kissing my skin as we shared stories with one another. My favorite stories were the ones he shared about Katie. Before, he couldn’t even speak her name, but now, when he shared with me, he smiled. It was as if the memories weren’t destructive flames anymore. They were sparks of love, and he honored her name by speaking those memories outloud.

“She loved fried salami sandwiches. She sucked at cooking them, though, so they were reallyburntsalami sandwiches, but I swear she’d slather them with mayo and eat them all the time. There was a time she ate them for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for three weeks straight.” He laughedheartily.

I smiled. “That’s actually prettydisgusting.”

“Yeah. Our house would smell like burnt salami for days. Mom would come home from work and holler, ‘Katlyn Rae Adams, if you ever get married, please never cook for your husband. You’d be the death ofhim.’”

“It must run in your family—TJ tried to get me to eat peanut butter and roast beef once.” I groaned. “Disgusting.”

“Hey, don’t knock it till you try it. Same with the ham and jellysandwiches.”

“Oh my gosh.” I shook my head back and forth. “You hang out with him way toomuch.”

“My mom hated his sandwiches but would still eat them all the time because it made TJsmile.”

“Your mom is one of the kindest people I’ve evermet.”

“She’s too good for this world,” he told me. “She’s asaint.”

“Does she date?” Iwondered.

“Nah. She has a hard time getting close to people after my dad. He really did a number on her. I think she gets lonely, though. I asked her about it once and she told me she’d rather be alone and lonely sometimes than in the wrong relationship and sad. She was convinced that being in a bad relationship was ten times lonelier than actually beingalone.”

“Any person would be lucky to haveher.”

“I agree. If it happens someday, he better love her like it’s his last breath—or else I’ll killhim.”

I smiled at how much he loved his mother. She loved him the same exact way. They were lucky to have oneanother.

“I’ve been a shitty son,” he confessed, rubbing the back of his neck. “My mom would give up her world for me, and I spent the last six years trying to stay away for selfish reasons because I wasn’t strongenough.”

“What do youmean?”

“She looks just like her,” he explained quietly. “Every time I see my mother, I see my sister too, from her curly dark hair to her smile…from her small figure to the way she laughs, the way she cries. So, I’ve avoidedher.”

“But that sounds like such a blessing,” I told him, moving in closer. “Being able to see your sister in your mother’s smile. It’s almost as if she cheated death somehow. It’s almost as if a part of her spirit lives on in such a beautifulway.”

“I’ve never thought about it likethat.”

“Sometimes it’s hard to see things in a different light when you’ve become so accustomed to thedark.”

He pressed his lips against my forehead. “Jasmine?”

“Yes?”

“I love you. More than words can say, I l-loveyou.”

The way he stuttered over the word love matched the skipping of myheartbeats.

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