Jasmine was broken, too, just likeme.
Only normally she hid it behind her smiles. Now she’d shown me herdarkness.
She was sleeping, but I didn’t leave rightaway.
I smiled her way and tried to be the bravest man I could be. I told her none of this was her fault. I told her she was the definition of love. I begged her not to blame herself for something the devil had laid on herdoorstep.
Then, I fell asleep right outside the bedroom door, because I selfishly didn’t want to bealone.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Jasmine
Iwokeup alone in Elliott’s bed, feeling like a fool. I had a splitting headache and felt beyond nauseous.Too much eggnog, too muchwine.
“Ugh.” I pushed myself up to a sitting position and smoothed out my wrinkled dress. I tried my best to tame my hair, but not even a hair tie and a high bun could make the monster on my head lesswild.
My eyes met the nightstand beside me, and when I saw a glass of water, crackers, and two Advil, I silently thanked Elliott for putting up with me the night before. I wished it was one of those drunken nights where I forgot everything I said and did, but unfortunately, it wasn’t. I remembered everything, every embarrassing thing I’d done and every embarrassing thing I’d said—throwing myself at Elliott…begging for sex…humiliatingmyself.
I remembered the way I told him to fuckme.
Oh my God, I told Elliott Adams to fuckme.
I remembered the way I fell aparttoo…
After popping the Advil into my mouth, I stood up. I collected all my stuff, and when I opened the bedroom door, I began tiptoeing to the front door, thankful I didn’t seeElliott.
I wasn’t ready to facehim.
“Avoiding me?” Elliott said, walking out of the bathroom right as my hand landed on thedoorknob.
I turned around to see him shirtless, drying his hair with a towel. I gave him a tight, uncomfortable smile. “No, no. I was just going to go check onTJ.”
“I called my mom—he’sokay.”
“Oh, okay. Well, I better get back to my place to help Ray clean up after yesterday. It was amess.”
“Jazz…” he started, his eyes growing so soft. “Lastnight—”
“I drank too much,” I cut in. “I never really did good mixing alcohol, so I’m really sorry for anything I said ordid.”
“You did nothingwrong.”
“I did. I made a fool of myself, and, I’msorry.”
He stepped closer, and the hairs on my arms stood on end. “Whathappened?”
“What…what do youmean?”
Closer.
“What happened toyou?”
I closed my eyes. “Nothing. I’m sorry, really, but I’m okay. It was just too manyshots.”
“You’re notokay.”
Closer.