Page 100 of Behind the Bars

“That would be great,” sheagreed.

I headed off and grabbed the white tank top and black sweatpants. She took them and headed into the bathroom to toss them on. When she came out, a small smile formed on her face, and her smile forced my heart to beat. She looked beautiful. The clothes were way too big, totally ridiculous, and they looked absolutely perfect on her. The band of the sweatpants was rolled down multiple times to sit correctly on her waist, and my eyes moved to her hipbones, which poked out a smallbit.

Jesus…

My gut twisted as I tore my stare away. “He’s in the mu-mu-music room,” I stuttered. “He’s been in there the wholetime.”

“Thanks,” she said, hurrying in to see him. She closed the door behind her, and I sat down on the sofa, waiting to make sure TJ would beokay.

It took some time, but Jasmine ended up walking TJ to his bedroom and putting him to sleep. When she reemerged, I stood up from the sofa and stared herway.

“He’s okay,” she told me. “He just had a smallpanic.”

“I didn’t know what to do. He…” I swallowed hard. “I didn’t know what todo.”

“Thanks for callingme.”

“Thanks forcoming.”

“Always. I can stay for the rest of the night if you want, since I’mhere.”

“Okay, soundsgood.”

We stood still for a moment, staring at one another, unable to look away. The right side of her mouth curved up, and the left side of mine did too until I realized what I was doing. Then it curved backdown.

She was in my headagain.

“Okay, well. goodbye, Jasmine.” I gathered my stuff toleave.

She kept smiling. “Goodbye,Elliott.”

I walked out the front door, and she followed behind me to lock up. Before I stepped off the porch, I turned to her and narrowed my eyes. “What’s wrong with him?” Iasked.

“He just feels worthless. His music gave him worth, a purpose, whatnot, and for that to be gone…he’s justlost.”

“How did you c-comfort him? What did you say tohim?”

“Nothing.”

“What?” I asked,confused.

“I didn’t say a word. I just sat there withhim.”

“You didn’t sayanything?”

She shook her head. “No. Sometimes people don’t need words, Elliott. Sometimes they just need the space to feel what they need to feel, with someone present as a reminder that they’re notalone.”

Chapter Thirty-Four

Jasmine

One night in late November,I sat behind the bars, listening to the music of Frenchmen Street after my shift at work. It still amazed me a bit how much it felt like home back there in those dirty areas. As I listened to the music of the bluegrass bar, I closed my eyes and took deep breaths. When I sat behind those bars, I did the most overthinking I allowed myself to do. Ninety-eight percent of the time, I was perfect. I was happy and healthy, and my mind never went to darkplaces.

But during those two percent, my mind didwander.

Mama hadn’t called meonce.

Whenever I spoke to Ray, I’d ask him if she’d reached out to him, but the answer was always no. I shouldn’t have been surprised. The way she and I had left things had been rough, so it wasn’t shocking when I had no emails or messages from her atall.

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