Page 81 of Mr. Charming

“You’re not going to want to hear this, but it started with a woman asking me about it.”

She huffs and looks away.

“I’m pretty sure you weren’t celibate during our time apart.”

“Do you really want to compare numbers?”

Yeah, I know I’d lose, but my list after Tedi isn’t as long as some people like to think.

“Anyway, a girl asked me what the initials stood for.”

“Did you tell her?”

I try to fight the smile, but I fail miserably because I love the note of jealousy in her voice. As if she wished I would’ve told the woman it was the initials of the woman I loved. It would have been the truth, but I don’t open the gates to my heart and soul easily. Tedi knows that.

“No, I just left. Put on my shirt and left.”

“Hmph.”

“She was the first, but not the last to ask. And every time someone asked, it just stopped me in my tracks. All I could think about for weeks was you. I’d look up your socials, maybe call Aiden or someone else, and ask a few vague questions to try to dig up any information I could on you. I’d scroll through old pictures of us on my phone and torture myself remembering the good times. Think of all the ways I fucked up and what I’d do differently if I could. It made me miserable again and again and again.”

A small smile forms on her lips, but she sucks in her lips to stop it from getting bigger.

“It’s okay. You owned me. You can feel vindicated.”

She sighs, and her shoulders sink. “Come on. You’d be the same way.”

I nod. “True.” My gaze seeks out her ribcage, and I wonder if she took my name off her skin after the night of Ford’s party. Probably not. I’m the only schmuck in this situation. “It paralyzed me, Tedi. I didn’t do it because I wanted to forget you, or because you didn’t mean anything to me, or to hurt you. I did it because if I couldn’t have you, then I didn’t want to be reminded of you over and over again.”

She grabs her water and opens the bottle, sipping it before putting the cap back on. All without a word.

“You were my first and only love. I just wanted to close myself off from the pain.”

“Did it work?” she asks. “Removing the tattoo? Did it make you forget about me?”

Temporarily maybe. For a night with a woman I never cared about.

“No.” My voice is hoarse as the weight of emotion crushes my vocal cords.

“Then what were you doing?” I know what she’s really asking, and I hate the hurt in her voice.

“I just got numb after a while. And I know you don’t want to hear about the other people I was with, but they were just hookups. I never dated anyone after you because I wasn’t going to go on dates in some futile attempt to find someone else.” I look into her eyes, and she meets my gaze. “It was always you, Tedi. Always. And if I couldn’t have the real thing, I wasn’t going to pretend with someone else.”

She inhales a deep breath and covers her face with her hands. Her shoulders shake, and I finally break the space between us, putting my arms around her and pulling her into my chest. I inhale her scent, and something clicks into place inside me, as if my body knows we’re home.

“This is hard, it is, but we were good together, weren’t we?” I have no idea what else I can do to convince her to give us another chance. “You were always the one for me.” I rub her back, squeezing her tightly. “The one who quieted the noise in my head.”

She whimpers in my arms and draws back. Her fingers curl into my shirt and her gaze lifts, her gorgeous eyes searching mine. I loosen my hold. The warmth of her body along mine stirs up memories of when she was mine. I’d do anything for our past to stop pressing in on us. Leave behind all the regret and yearning and make her believe in our love again.

“Tell me it’s not too late,” I whisper.

I’m afraid to breathe, because if she says no and I walk out of this apartment, it’s over. We’re over, and there will be a finality to us that I’m not sure I can accept.

“No. It’s not,” she says softly.

The hell if I’m going to wait. I press my lips to hers, dragging her onto my lap. She doesn’t fight me but straddles me, inching closer until we’re chest to chest.

I stop our kiss before I get in too deep. “You sure?”

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