Page 55 of Mr. Charming

He glares before speeding to get in the far left lane. “Your ex.”

I grab the holy shit handle. “Tweetie?”

He groans. “I’m hoping you don’t have any other exes who are going to call me up and school me about how I’m treating you.”

I bite my lip to stop the smile from emerging. Tweetie called Decker to tell him to pick me up?

“Oh god, look at you.” He shakes his head. “You guys are, like, next-level demented with the games you play. First the guy acts like he wants to beat my ass, and now he’s telling me to pick you up at the airport, and you’re going gaga over him.”

“I am not.” I cross my arms, but in truth, I kind of am.

Decker aggressively passes another vehicle, jerking the car to the right lane, then back into the left.

“Are you trying out for Formula One or something?”

“No, I want to get home. Speaking of which, where do you live?”

I tell him what exit to get off on.

“Honestly, Tedi, this is absurd. Why are you doing this?”

I shrug. It was a really good idea at first. “You don’t get it. And I’ve hardly asked you for anything. I’m sorry about you having to come get me, but I didn’t know anything about it. Do you want me to buy you some donuts or something?”

He takes the exit toward my apartment, and his shoulders fall at the stoplight. “A glazed donut isn’t going to fix this.”

“What about one with sprinkles? You always loved the sprinkles.” I smile wide and act excited as if he’s four years old and I can bribe him.

He blows out a breath. “I have no idea how you manage to get me to agree to everything.”

“I know I’m abusing being the older sister of your best friends, but I have no choice. Like tonight, having you pick me up saved me from the temptation of Tweetie taking me home. It’s not easy not giving in where he’s concerned.” I rock my head back. “But I do feel bad about you coming to the airport, so let me buy you a donut or two.”

The light changes, and he turns left toward my apartment. “Help me understand why I’m putting myself through this?”

I stare at the city, quiet at this time of night. The homes lining the street are dark. “Have you ever been in love?”

He sighs. “Once.”

“Then maybe you get it. Tweetie and I are ‘all in’ people. We don’t do things halfway, so when we fell in love, we fell hard and fast. But we came down just as hard and fast when things ended. We know we should stay away from one another, but there’s this invisible string still tying us together that only we can feel. You’re like my buffer, forbidding him from getting too close. I know it doesn’t make sense?—”

“It makes perfect sense.” Decker pulls into the donut shop just down the road from my apartment.

“Thank you.” I cover his hand on the gearshift. “I really appreciate you doing this.”

He doesn’t say anything. “You’re buying me a hot chocolate too.”

He turns off the car and gets out, shutting the door. He waits for me at the front of his car with his hands stuffed in his pockets, and when I climb out and meet him, he falls in line with me, knocking me with his shoulder.

We don’t say anything and find a place by the window where we eat our donuts and drink hot chocolate without asking the other one any questions about our past loves, but I see it in his expression, why Decker understands—someone from his past still haunts him.

Twenty-Eight

Tedi’s Journal Entry

Eight years ago

Nashville

To my older self,