Page 94 of If It Can't Be Us

Two Weeks Later

I pace in front of the Marionis’ house, my stomach in knots, glancing at my watch every few seconds as I wait for Nick’s arrival for the final walkthrough. I have our punch list that we created a few weeks ago, and move-in day is a week from today.

Our last encounter had been slightly awkward. I met with Nick a few days after Leo and I arrived home from Paris. I felt I owed it to him to tell him about Leo and me in person.

It was hard for him, but he took it like a champ, as I knew he would because he’s a good guy. It turns out his initial fears about Leo and my friendship had been warranted. Turns out, being best friends with the opposite sex can get pretty complicated.

Nick approaches, and a knot of anxiety forms in my stomach. “Hey, Nick,” I say as smoothly as I can. He looks good, rugged and handsome as always.

“Hi, Vivian,” he glances at me briefly before gesturing toward the house. “Shall we?” he asks, walking toward the home before I can even answer.

Okay…

He’s keeping it strictly professional, I guess. It’s fine, I get it, and I don’t blame him.

We walk through the house, checking off everything on the list, from paint to electrical. We double-check that the few paint issues, the handle on one of the cupboards, and a door have all been fixed since we flagged them a few weeks ago.

I try to make small talk as we go, but Nick’s answers are short and to the point, making it very clear that he is here for one purpose. I can’t help but notice that he has avoided eye contact the entire time as well.

When we finish our walkthrough, we stand hesitantly at the door, my weight shifting from one foot to the other, my palms growing sweaty.

Shit. Why does this feel so uncomfortable?

“Well, you did a fantastic job on this house, Vivian. I’ll see you in a couple of weeks when we meet at the Johnsons,” he says, turning to leave, his hand already reaching for the doorknob.

“Wait, Nick,” I call out, grabbing his arm.

I stumble for words to convey my feelings. “I’m really so sorry,” I say, hesitantly. “I never meant to hurt you. What I felt for you was real, and I need you to know that. Leo and I… it’s just… it’s complicated, you know?”

“Yes, I know. It’s complicated… I figured that much. That’s why, back in December, I asked if there was anything between you two. That was your chance to be honest with me about your feelings for him. But you told me it was just a platonic friendship.”

“It was, Nick. We were just friends. Sure, I wanted more, but Leo didn’t, and I was dating. What was I supposed to do? Just not date anyone in hopes that he might come around?” I shrug, feeling lost.

“We dated forfivemonths. Five months of me falling for you. I liked you… a lot, and I thought you liked me too.”

“I did, Nick… I really did. I enjoyed our conversations, we had good chemistry, and we had fun together. I liked you a lot.” I don’t know why I need him to understand this. I know it doesn’t matter anymore. I’m grasping at straws here, trying to justify my actions.

He sighs deeply, a look of resignation in his eyes. “Well, the good news is that it just doesn’t matter anymore, does it?” He opens the front door. “See you around, Vivian.” Without another glance, he walks down the steps and heads to his work truck.

This is going to make work so damn awkward. I blink furiously to avoid crying. I hate making people upset. My chest tightens, guilt swirling in my stomach, I wish I could undo the hurt I’ve caused Nick. I always liked him, and we did have incredible chemistry, but deep down, I think I knew all along that I wasn’t going to fall in love with Nick. I just kept hoping I would start to feel more. I should have at least told him how I felt and let him decide if he wanted to keep seeing me.

I take a deep breath and glance around the house one last time, checking the details we’ve worked so hard on. The walls, the floors, everything is perfect, but it all feels empty now. Sighing, I walk to my car, the reality of the situation settling in.

Maybe I’ll bring this up to Leo later. I don’t want this weighing on me this weekend because tomorrow is my birthday, and Leo has something special planned for me. He won’t tell me anything about what we’re doing, only that I needed a cocktail dress, and I didn’t hate having an excuse to go shopping.

* * * * ** * * * *

I’m stuffed.

I open the door to my townhouse, dropping all of my things right there at the door, and bend down to unbuckle the straps on my heels. Shit, my pants are way too tight right now and digging into my stomach.

I went to dinner with Kara tonight at The Purple Pig,one of my absolute favorite places to eat in Chicago. It’s tapas style, and the food is seriously so delicious, you have to try everything, so I basically did. I tried it all, and now I’m paying forit.

I drag myself upstairs and slip into my comfiest pajamas. It’s only nine, and I have a sexy date with my bed and the television for the rest of the night. A much-needed escape after today’s shitshow encounter with Nick at work.

I settle into my bed wearing the coziest pajamas I own, the kind with plenty of give in the pants for post-feast comfort. God, I’m glad that Leo isn’t here to witness this spectacle. Overindulging in food is a rare event for me, and when it happens, it definitely shouldn’t be in front of the sexy man who shares my bed. Talk about a mood killer.

Leo has poker with the guys tonight, so he won’t be over until late. He told me not to wait up for him, but that he’d sneak over when they’re all done, giving me plenty of time for my food to settle. We haven’t spent a night apart from each other since Paris, switching back and forth between his place and mine. We mostly stay at my place; it’s a bit easier for me with all my ‘girl stuff,’ as Leo likes to call it.

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