Page 6 of If It Can't Be Us

Vivian:I’m attracted to him and he’s fun. We have good conversations. So far it’s been pretty easy… and he’s a great kisser. I guess I’m just in my head—this will be our fifth date.

Sarah:You worried he expects you to sleep with him?

Vivian:Yeah… our date on Tuesday was short and sweet. I had to get home early to get some work done and he kissed me on the doorstep… I could tell he wanted tocome in. Idk. The last time he ended up coming inside, we took it pretty far—I told you about that… I told him I wanted to take things slow—now I’m afraid he will think things have been slow enough.

Sarah:Do you want to sleep with him?

Vivian:Ugh. I don’t know, friend. I’ve enjoyed our make-outs, and we definitely have a physical connection… I just feel like it’s too soon… in every way.

Sarah:Well, just be you, hun. Try to be open and vulnerable, but at the end of the day if it’s not the time, it’s not the time.

Vivian:I know… thanks!

Sarah:You’re welcome babe. Just have fun either way! I’ll see you tomorrow morning for our Saturday walk and coffee, right?

Vivian:Yes of course, can't wait!

Sarah sends two kissy-face emojis.

Shit.

I only have twenty minutes until I’m expected on-site at a home to meet my boss. Closing my laptop, I grab my things and rush out the door.

My boss is my father-in-law, Seth Walker. I have always had a great relationship with Ben’s parents, Seth and Jane. Seth started a custom home building company in his late twenties and quickly rose to success. Walker Homes now operates in seventeen states and is consistently ranked among the top ten custom home builders in Utah.

Currently, I am finishing a big project for the Parade of Homes in Park City. I was honored that Seth trusted me enough to not only design the architecture for the home but also to collaborate with my sister-in-law on the interior design. Seth has employed both of his children: Melissa, an interior designer, works extensively in the model homes and with clients, and Ben was a very successful realtor. His dad helped him make his first million by the time he was twenty-four, when he put him in charge of selling a massive condominium complex.

I meet Seth and Melissa at the home and we walk through, critiquing the space and taking notes as we go. Melissa and I still have some last-minute finishing touches to polish up the home and bring it all together, but overall, it’s almost ready for the showcase, which starts in three weeks. The home is absolutely stunning. It’s a two-story open floor plan tucked up on the side of a mountain, with vaulted ceilings lined with wooden beams. The entire back wall of the main living space opens up to the outdoors and a glorious pool that overlooks the entire valley. It has a contemporary yet homey feel, and the art that Melissa picked is sensational. Seth seems overjoyed with our work, and I couldn’t be more proud.

“How are you doing?” Melissa asks as we walk to our cars after Seth has left.

“I’m doing okay.” I force a smile. “I have good days and bad days, like everyone else.”

“You seeing anyone?”

I love Melissa, but I don’t want to talk about my dating life with her. It feels weird, and the guilt eats at me. I know she means well, so I say as little as possible to appease her.

“A little. Nothing serious.”

She stops walking and turns toward me. “You know Ben would want you to be happy, right?”

“Yes. I know that,” I say quietly.

If I had a dollar for every time someone tells me that…

It doesn’t matter how many times I hear it—it doesn’t magically make me feel better.

Melissa smiles and gives me a hug. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

We say goodbye and head our separate ways.

* * * * ** * * * *

Somehow, Bentley and I make it into my bedroom, lips locked. He swiftly pulls my shirt over my head and lays me down on the bed, his hand gliding to my breasts. “Damn, you have great tits,” he says between heated kisses as he rolls a nipple between his forefinger and thumb.

Thanks, Ben paid for them.

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