Page 48 of If It Can't Be Us

“Noooo. I love the wandering hands,” I say in a playful, whiny voice, not wanting to comply with these new rules.

Leo chuckles, “I do too, love. I do too.” He reaches out, taking my hand in his. “Maybe we can find a middle ground. We don’t have to let what happened define us, but we can acknowledge it and be mindful. We can let it be okay without pretending it never happened.” He gives me a reassuring smile, his eyes filled with warmth. “What do you think?”

“You’re right,” I say softly. “We need to protect what we have.”

Leo’s grip on my hand tightens briefly before he lets go. “So, we’ll keep it platonic. The flirtatious nudges and hugs are fine, but no more snuggling during movies, no wandering hands. We can keep the loving, friendly touches but nothing beyond that, to avoid temptation.”

I smile, a mix of relief and sadness washing over me. “Agreed.”

We both sit in silence for a moment, absorbing the new boundaries we’ve set. Then, with a deep breath, I open the car door. “Thanks again for today, and for talking this through.”

He nods, his eyes soft. “Anytime. You know I’m always here for you.”

We step out of the car and walk towards my back door, then turn to face each other.

“Goodnight, Leo,” I say softly as I wrap my arms around him for afriendlyhug.

“Goodnight,” he replies, his voice warm and steady.

Chapter 14

LEO

Sunday, November 26

The light from my lamp barely reaches the corners of the sitting room as I sip my morning coffee. I’m on my sofa, facing the window with a view of the river. It’s too cold now for mornings on the patio. As I scroll through my X feed, catching up on the news and random updates, I spot Vivian heading out for a morning run. I hate that she runs alone in the dark. It’s early—5:30—a lot earlier than usual for her. I remember she had a date last night, and for reasons I can’t quite pinpoint, I find myself needing to know how it went.

I run upstairs, quickly change into warm running clothes, and rush outside.

After eight minutes of running, I see her in the distance. I close the gap, calling her name. She doesn’t turn around, and I know she has her AirPods in, blasting a playlist. I’m within feet of her, and she still doesn’t turn when I call her name again. Finally, I catch up and tap her on the shoulder.

She whips around, yelling, “Holy shit,” panic-stricken as she drops her phone and pulls apart her Birdie, sounding an ear-piercing alarm.Realizing it’s me, she shoves me. “Jesus! What the FUCK,Leo!” She removes her AirPods, laces her hands behind her head, and paces back and forth, gasping for breath and trying to calm her nerves.

I pick up her phone and check for damage as I calmly approach, feeling terrible. “Viv, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” The Birdie is still screeching, waking neighbors and drawing unwanted attention. Her eyes are frantic and wild as I reach for her hands, gripping them in mine. I pry the Birdie from her grip and reattach it to the hook on her running belt, silencing the alarm and leaving us with ringing ears and Vivian’s sharp breaths.

“Hey. Hey,” I say, searching her eyes. “Look at me.” Her eyes slowly move to meet mine. “It’s okay. It’s just me. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

She clutches her chest, her voice shaking. “Jesus, you scared the shit out of me.”

“I’m so sorry. You’re okay, yeah?”

She nods. “I will be. Sorry, I just can’t catch my breath.” She laughs, “Shit, my heart is pounding.”

I wrap my arms around her, squeezing gently to help her calm down. “I guess we know your Birdie works,” I say with a chuckle, trying to soothe her. “That thing just woke the whole goddamn neighborhood.”

Laughing, she pulls away from me and playfully nudges my chest. “Don’t youeverdo that again.”

“I won’t, I swear. What are you listening to anyway? Is it loud enough?” I joke. “You know, I really wish you’d learn some self-defense. An attacker could easily grab the Birdie from you and reconnect it like I did. And since there aren’t many people around right now, it’s not enough. Plus, your music is way too loud for you to be aware of your surroundings.”

“Okay, Dad.” She rolls her eyes. “I told you I’d let you teach me some things.”

“Alright. Well, let’s get that on the schedule. It’s important. Can I run with you?”

“Yeah, of course. But I think I just want to walk for a minute. My heart rate just went high enough to replace a mile of running.” Smiling, she turns to walk, and I follow suit, side by side.

“How was your date last night?” I ask coolly.

She looks at me with surprise and a hint of confusion. “You don’t really want to know about my date, do you?”

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