Page 2 of Sachie's Hero

“Luke, the medicine helps—if you stay on it. You can’t just quit taking the medication. You need it to allow you to live that normal life you want. You can have the marriage, children and a career if you stay on the drugs that regulate the serotonin in your brain.”

“That’s just it.” He spun toward her. “I got into drugs because I felt like I had multiple personalities. There was me, and then there was the other me. The other me couldn’t control his moods. When I got caught with the drugs, I was ordered into rehab to get off the drugs.”

“And you did,” Sachie reminded him. “You’ve been clean for months.”

“And yet, you tell me I have to be on drugs to get the voicesin my head to stop making me crazy?” His brow twisted. “Trade one drug for another? No. I can’t live like that. The way I see it, I’m one missed pill away from killing someone.”

“You aren’t going to kill anyone,” Sachie said. In all her sessions with the young man, she’d never felt threatened or afraid. Until now. “Self-medicating with cocaine wasn’t the answer.”

He gave a bark of laughter. “That’s the one thing I can agree with. It was hard to let go of the mind-numbing effects of cocaine. It was so damned hard. I don’t wish that shit on anyone. And I never want to be involved in helping others...what did you call it?” His eyes narrowed. “Self-medicate. I kicked it, but not everyone can. I really thought I’d won that battle and never had to go back there again.”

“And you don’t have to go back,” Sachie tried to reassure him.

“I can’t. I won’t. It makes me angry all over just thinking about it. No matter what happens to me, I will never go back to that life, even if it means losing everything and leaving me with the voices in my head.”

Sachie frowned. “Did someone at the Boys’ Club try to give you drugs?”

Luke’s gaze avoided hers. “Kylie didn’t understand. All she wanted to do was help me. I couldn’t let her. She wouldn’t listen.”

“So you hit her?” Sachie whispered the question.

Tears welled in Luke’s eyes. “I didn’t mean to hurt her. I was trying to stop her. If she’d done what she was going to do...” His voice trailed off as his fist clenched, causing more blood to ooze from the cuts sustained from the cracked window.

Sachie fought back the urge to run from the room and call 911. “Luke, did you hit her?”

He continued as if in a trance, his voice monotone, his gaze on the bleeding hand. “When I grabbed her arm, she jerked away and fell, hitting her head against the corner of the building.” He stared at the thick red drops now falling to the floor. “There was so much blood...”

“You said you put her in the hospital.” Sachie needed to know Kylie was getting medical attention. “How did she get there?”

Luke raised his head, looking directly at Sachie but not connecting, as if he was looking at an image burned into his mind. “I took her to the emergency room.”

Sachie hated to ask but had to, “Was she breathing?”

Luke nodded. “I made sure they got her into an exam room. Once I knew she was in good hands, I left. She won’t have to worry. I’ll never hurt her again.”

“Oh, Luke,” Sachie moved closer and touched his arm. “You didn’t hurt her on purpose. It was an accident.”

“No.” He shrugged off her hand. “I can’t do this anymore. If I can’t trust myself, why should anyone else?”

“Luke, you came to me for help,” Sachie said. “Let me help you.”

“There’s no help for someone like me.”

“There is help for people like you, Luke.” Sachie stood still, wanting to take another step toward him but knowing it might make him feel like he was backed into a corner. She was losing him. “You need medication that targets the specific chemicals in your brain, not street drugs. And you need to take the medicine every day for the rest of your life.”

Luke jammed his hands into his pockets. “It doesn’t matter,” he said, his voice flat, defeated. “Kylie will never take me back. Her parents will file a restraining order to keep me from seeing her if they don’t send me to jail. And I don’t blame them. I wouldn’t let my daughter see me ever again. Not after what I did to her.” He turned back to Sachie, his shoulders drooping. “I don’t need the drugs, and I won’t be coming back to see you. Take me off your calendar and fill the appointment time with someone you can help.”

Her stomach clenched. “Luke, you have to keep coming to me. The judge ordered you to see me once a week for six months. If you don’t, I have to report that you skipped out.”

Luke wasn’t a bad kid. He was mentally ill. The medication he’d been taking would help him where so many other mentally ill people didn’t have that option. “Take your meds. You’ll be better.” She waved a hand toward him. “You were good for the three months you were on it regularly, weren’t you?”

He nodded. “But it doesn’t matter anymore. I’ve blown it with Kylie. Hell, I nearly killed her. They probably won’t let me go back to the school. I’m done with all of this.” He gave her a grave look and turned to glance out the window. “Thanks for trying.”

“You wouldn’t have come to me if you didn’t want help,” Sachie said. “Please, let me help you.”

With his back to her, he shook his head. “I didn’t come for help. You’ve been good to me, and I knew you would listen to what I had to say. The only help I need is for you to deliver a message to Kylie.”

“You didn’t hurt her intentionally, Luke,” Sachie insisted. “You should deliver the message yourself.”

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