Page 30 of Single Mom for the Firemen

“I’m holding everything down for you in the city,” she tells me softly. “You just do the same for me up here, alright? That’s all I need.”

“I will,” I reply, and I wave her off to her car. For a brief moment, I see something out of the corner of my eye. My head snaps around, following the motion, but by the time I look, it’s gone. I blink, staring at the spot. I must have imagined it…

I lift my hand and wave Lara off, then head back inside where popcorn is filling the microwave and Callie is picking out a film.

“What have you got for us, sweetie?” I ask her as I flop down on the couch next to her, a towering mound of popcorn filling the giant bowl in front of us.

“Can we watchDragon Riders?” she asks excitedly, and I nod. God knows we’ve seen it a hundred times already, but it was one of my favorite movies growing up, and I never get tired of watching her face light up with the same joy I once felt.

“Sure thing,” I reply, and I grab the remote and tap it a couple of times to bring up the movie. Flicking off the lights, I sink into the seat, resting my chin on her head as we watch and eat together.

See, this is the stuff I was missing back home. Working so hard doesn’t give me a whole lot of time to just hang out with my little girl, and I am soaking up every moment of it while I can. It’s hard to find that balance—not just because I need the money, but because I want Callie to know that there’s no shame in getting out there and pursuing a career that she’s passionate about.

I drop a kiss onto her head as she tosses a handful of popcorn into her mouth, her eyes fixed to the screen. I swear, the world could be ending outside this cabin, and she wouldn’t know anything about it until the credits rolled on her favorite movie. She is already such a smart kid; sometimes it’s hard to believe she could have come from me. It feels like she’s been beamed down from some other planet into my life.

I still can’t believe I get to be her mom. It’s the greatest gift anyone could ever have given me—even now, I send a little prayer up to whoever might be listening, telling them to let Johnny know that I’m so grateful for her and the parts of him I can see in her. I miss him like hell sometimes, especially in the city. Though maybe that’s because we still live just a few blocksover from where we lived with him. Not as though I could afford to move anywhere fancier, not on my budget.

But here, in the cabin, it feels a little more…distant. There’s something a little less pressing about the stress. My mind drifts back to what Lara said to me earlier—to be careful, not to let myself get drawn into anything I can’t handle.

But I feel like it’s a little too late for that, after I published a story that got the goddamn cartel on our tail. I still can’t believe that happened. Sometimes I feel like I don’t know where to draw the line between making the world a better place for my daughter and landing her in the middle of danger in the process.

Soon, she’s dozing off on my shoulder. She was playing outside in the garden most of the day, so it’s not really a surprise that she’s so exhausted now. I kiss the top of her head and pull her into my arms—she’s getting too big for it now, or I’m getting too decrepit and old, but I still love carrying her to bed.

I take her upstairs and tuck her in, and then return to the living room to turn off the TV and put everything away. I’m still getting used to how quiet it is out here at night. Usually there are cars zooming past our studio-apartment window back home, but here there’s nothing but the sound of a few birds chirping.

I switch off the TV and go to pick up the bowl of popcorn. But before I can grab it, something catches my attention. The same thing as before, the same movement. My gaze flicks up, and right there in front of me, reflected in the now-black TV screen, is what looks like a lens peering out from the trees behind me.

I stare at it for a long moment, my heart thudding in my chest. What the fuck? Is someone watching me? Watching us? Howlong have they been out there? Is that what I saw when Lara was getting back into her car…?

My mind rushes with panic and I spin around on the spot, throwing a mess of popcorn out of the bowl as I move. But as I stare into the darkness before me, I can’t see anything looking back. I take an unsteady step toward the window and peer into the dark, looking this way and that for the lens that I’m sure I saw reflected in the TV. But everywhere I look, there’s nothing amiss.

I squeeze my eyes shut and do my best to control my breathing.You need to get a handle on yourself.I can’t let myself get paranoid, just because of everything that’s going on. I came out here to stay safe, and that’s exactly what this place is going to be. A haven for my daughter and for me…

I look to the stairs, and suddenly I feel the need to check on Callie. I take them two at a time and prop open her door an inch or two—and breathe a sigh of relief. There she is, sleeping peacefully, like there’s nothing wrong in the universe.

And as far as she knows, there isn’t. I just pray she never has reason to rethink that.

15

JAKE

As soon asI hear the tread of footsteps in front of me, I know someone must have gotten off the trail. There’s no way anyone would come down this far out of choice. No, if they’re wandering about in the middle of the woods, they probably need someone to steer them back to where they came from.

Pushing my hand through my hair, I let out a sigh. I know this is what the patrols are for, but I had been hoping to get away without seeing anyone else, at least for today. My mind is a mess with everything that’s been happening with Vanessa, my brothers, and me, and I hoped that getting out into the woods for a while would go some way toward clearing my head.

“Hey,” I call out, mustering all the certainty I can as I follow the sound of footsteps and voices a few dozen yards away. It’s a bright day, and the sunlight dappling through the trees picks out the brightness of the grass and the green of the leaves around me. The view could have come straight from some postcard intended to advertise the place, though truth be told, I’d rather keep it to ourselves.

“Hey! Oh, thank God…”

I freeze on the spot when I hear her voice—I recognize it at once. How could I not? It’s her. Vanessa.

“Vanessa…?” I call out to her just as she emerges from a small cluster of trees, her cheeks flushed, her hair messy and tangled with a few snagged twigs and leaves. Callie is clutching her hand tightly, and the two of them look exhausted.

“I was so worried nobody was going to find us,” she remarks, shaking her head as she plants one hand on her hip. “But I should have known that one of you would be out here…”

“Why are you wandering around so far from the trail…?”

“It wasn’t my intention when I left the house,” she admits. “I…I saw this trail that led from the cabin to one of the viewing points, and I thought it would be a good goal to set ourselves to get up there today. But I guess I must have gotten turned around from the path, because suddenly we were in the middle of the woods, and…” She trails off, shaking her head. “I don’t know. But we need someone to get us back on track.”

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