Page 58 of Single Mom for the Firemen

“You’re okay,” Killian assures me, putting an arm around my shoulders as Callie hops out of the car. As she looks across the crowd of people before her, I see the barest hint of hesitation on her face—as though she has suddenly figured out just how many people are actually going to be here. After all, she’s been out in the woods for the better part of the last six months, so it’s no wonder she would need a moment to adapt to all the newness.

But then she reaches for my hand and grips it tightly. “Come on, Mommy,” she tells me, her voice laced with such seriousness I can’t help but smile. She’s so brave. Even when she has her doubts, she’s ready to lead the way.

The two of us head toward the main building, where I sign her in and wave her off to her new class. She still looks a little nervous, but not nearly as much as she did when she first arrived. I pause for a moment, making sure she’s really in, before I head back down the corridor to meet Killian outside.

He slips his arms around my waist when I reach him—I can’t help but notice a couple of the other moms shooting me jealous looks, and I don’t blame them. Not that it really means anything, but I feel as though I scored the hottest silver fox in the drop-off line.

“How you feeling?” he asks me softly, squeezing me close. He knows this was always going to be a tough day for me, saying goodbye to her like this, even though I know she’s going to love the hell out of her education.

“I’m…good,” I reply, finally. It’s not entirely convincing—I can tell.

“You want to go grab something to eat?” he suggests. My stomach grumbles at the mere mention of food. I realize it’s been at least since last night since I actually ate something, and I nod.

“I would love that,” I sigh. “Is there somewhere in town we can get some food…?”

He takes me to this little diner at the edge of town—a place that looks as though it has been open for the better part of fifty years, at least judging by the way the tiles are beginning to peel away from the wall in some places. But the coffee is hot and the food is good, and I can’t think of anything else that matters more right now. I order myself a stack of pancakes, dripping in golden syrup, and tuck in like my life depends on it.

“It’s going to get easier,” Killian tells me as he watches me eat from the other side of the table.

My head flicks up, a frown furrowing my brow. “You mean with Callie…?”

He nods. “Yeah, it’s not always going to feel so difficult,” he assures me. “I know it must be weird for you, seeing her off to school when it’s just been the two of you for so long, but…”

“Yeah, it really is,” I sigh in agreement, as I place down my fork once more.

I’m still trying to make sense of where this leaves me, now that she’s started school. There have been times when I’ve been focused on this point—the point where I’m not going to be responsible for her for the entirety of every single day, so I can relax a little and focus on myself. But truth be told, she’s too much a part of me to allow for something like that. It’s not as though I can just turn off how much I miss her, how far it feels like she is from me right now.

“I just…I don’t know,” I continue, reaching for my coffee. “After Johnny died, it was always just the two of us. I never had to think about anyone else, and I hardly had to imagine what life was going to be like without her. I didn’t have anyone to split the hard stuff with, but that meant I got all of the good stuff too. And now…” I trail off for a moment. “Well, I guess someone else is going to be getting a whole lot of that good stuff. Her teachers, her classmates…”

“But that’s a good thing,” Killian promises me, reaching across the table to take my hand. “You’ve done such an amazing job with her, and now she gets to go out into the world and share that with everyone else.”

I manage a small smile. “I guess it makes me selfish that I want to keep it all to myself, then,” I murmur.

He chuckles. “Not selfish,” he corrects me softly. “Just a mom.”

“And I guess that comes with some selfishness built in,” I muse out loud. “Ugh, don’t get me wrong, I’m so proud of her, but I just…I want to keep her all to myself for a while longer, you know?”

“I know,” he laughs. “I would too, if she were my daughter.”

I smile at him. I appreciate that he’s not overstepping his boundaries by trying to claim that she’s his little girl already, but honestly, I’m starting to see it that way. Sure, it might not be the most obvious setup in the world, but I can tell that she adores all three of these guys totally and completely, and that’s only going to grow more with the time that passes and the comfort she finds in their presence.

“I never thought she would have a dad,” I confess to him, after a long pause. “I guess…after Johnny died, it was just easier for me to focus on the two of us. Getting by, making sure she didn’t miss out on anything, trying to pay my bills and keep up with work on top of that, but now…” I shake my head. “She’s going to have three dads,” I whisper, a sudden grip of emotion catching me off guard.

“I know I’d be honored to be considered her father,” Killian replies without missing a beat. “Mason and Jake too…”

“You think?”

“I know.”

The way he says it, it’s as though they’ve already been discussing the matter among themselves. The thought draws a smile to my lips, all of them chatting about how they can best support my little girl. It’s everything she deserves, a million times over—I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I pick up my fork once more, and set about finishing my pancakes. And as the bright late-summer light comes through the large windows beside us, it’s as though it’s finally clearing away the last of the shadows I’ve been holding on to—the last of the doubts I might have had about the choices I’ve made, and what they’ll mean for Callie and me.

These guys adore her, and they’re going to be there for her in ways that I alone never could have been. She’s going to have a trio of amazing fathers, ready to turn out to every parents’ evening and soccer game she plays in. Sure, we might take a little explaining, but I can cope with that. When has anything in my life ever been straightforward, anyway…?

Killian and I finish up, and then head off to pick up some groceries before we head back up to the cabin. As we step out of the car opposite the store, he shoots a look at me out of the corner of my eye.

“How’s that book going?” he asks me, trying his best to keep his voice casual—but I can tell from the way he says it that it’s anything but.

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