Page 55 of Steamy on Set

“Errol, is it your turn to make drunken confessions?”

His shoulders rise and fall, shrugging off the question.

“I remember nothing from when I’m drunk, so if I’m confessing to anything, I will feel no shame tomorrow.”

“Well, if that’s the case—” I start to say, then quickly stop myself. How immoral is it to take advantage of this? Asking him questions he won’t answer sober is at the very least invasive. Plus, do I really want to know more about what he means by that?

I release my eagerness with a sigh and push him to the side to open the door. I let it go, knowing I can’t in good conscience ask him anything right now.

He slides in with little protest and folds his large frame into my small car. Tucking his loose locs behind his ears, he looks at me as I get in.

“Are we going back to your place?” he inquires, eyes wide with earnest wonder. His tongue glides across his parted lips, drawing my stare there.

“No.” My voice is raspy, lacking enough density to hold weight.

“That sucks.” His words press into the air, filling it with baited realizations waiting to be acknowledged. I roll down the window, hoping the breeze will blow them away, but they stay all through the drive to his place. It isn’t until he gets out that I can finally feel the weight of the full silence lift off my shoulders a little. I watch to make sure he makes it inside safely, then I head home, concluding we are going to pretend he never said anything tonight.

I know he’s attracted to me, so I’m not surprised that he wants me to take advantage of him in his drunken state. But he doesn’t do things with the people he works with, and I can’t forget that.

Nothing takes my mind off things like shopping does. More than anything, right now I need to not be thinking about Errol. Monty, having enough curves to be considered plus size, can shop at most of the stores I do, so she comes along.

“So let me get this straight. You both have made drunken confessions about your attraction, you flirt like crazy, and you are having sex dreams about him.”

“Shhh,” I say, irritated that she doesn’t have an inside voice. So much for not thinking about him.

“I just don’t get why you don’t ravish him already.” She picks up a skin tight dress with sunset colors, and holds it against her skin. Her light complexion that allows her freckles to stand out on her face makes the outfit look amazing.

“I need him to make the first move. If I do, and he rejects me, I’ll die.”

“You know that boy won’t reject you.” She moves over to lingerie, and I wonder who she’s shopping for.

“I would just prefer to wait and see what happens.”

Gravitating to the shoes section, I’m grateful that, despite everything being big on me, my feet are a size seven. Picking up heels I know will irritate Errol, I wonder how he’d feel if I walked into his place in nothing but these shoes. I bet it would change his opinion then.

“I’m tired of the will they/won’t they,” she sighs out. Her frown solidifying her words.

“You can’t say anything about will they/won’t they when you’ve been texting Charlie.”

She literally gasps and brings her hand to her chest.

“You have been going through my phone?”

Seeing as how we have each others’ passwords, I know she is faking being upset.

“I saw it when it was on the counter the other day. Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” she says while walking towards the register.

“You’ve been this way since I met you. You never want to talk about anything while it’s happening. You process internally, and it’s some bull-crap. I tell you everything that’s going on with me.”

I hand my card over before she can pay. She starts to protest when I shoot her a look reminding her that her career is just starting to pick up.

“That is because you need to talk through everything that is happening. I don’t. I’ll come to you when I’m ready to tell you how I feel,” she says.

I try not to be offended knowing this is just how she is, but part of me wishes our friendship was on a more even level. It’s like I need her more than she needs me.

She must see it on my face, because she sighs and links arms with me while we walk out of the store.