Page 15 of The Surgeon's Secret

“We…have, twice,” Catherine said, hesitating. “Mostly, she…well, she’s been the one to do things to me. She doesn’t let me do anything for her, if that makes sense.”

“Ah, a ‘touch-me-not,’” Sinead said knowingly. “Not unusual in the lesbian world, though not super common, either.”

“What do you think that’s about?” Catherine asked, genuinely curious.

“Have you told her you want to touch her?”

“Yes. I really, really want to,” Catherine admitted, almost shyly. “It’s all I can think about.”

“So you’re serious about her, then? This isn’t just curiosity?”

Catherine nodded. “I’ve never felt like this before.”

Sinead regarded her thoughtfully. “Well, sometimes touch-me-nots just aren’t comfortable with it at all. Or maybe they just don’t feel secure enough with someone to let themselves be vulnerable.”

“Why wouldn’t she feel safe with me?” Catherine frowned.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Sinead replied dryly. “Maybe the fact that you’re married. To one of the world’s most famous surgeons, no less. And straight. I’d say that makes you pretty dangerous.”

“Dangerous?” Catherine repeated, surprised.

“Dangerous to her heart, Catherine. Lesbian relationships can get intense. It’s a lot of emotion wrapped up in physical intimacy. Bond’s probably holding back because she’s afraid you’re going to break her heart.”

“I wouldn’t do that,” Catherine said with determination.

“So you’re going to leave James?” Sinead asked, her gaze steady.

Catherine considered the question for a long moment. “Are there any other options?” she asked quietly.

“Not really. You either leave him, or you’ll end up hurting her,” Sinead said matter-of-factly. “That’s the thing with straight women, Catherine. They break your heart. Every lesbian knows it. It’s more of a guarantee than a risk when you get into it with a straight woman.”

Catherine mulled over Sinead’s words. Suddenly, it was clear. One minute Lexi looked at her like she was the only thing in the world she wanted, and the next, she was pulling away. Lexi was protecting herself from getting hurt—because straight women, it seemed, were dangerous.

“But does it ever work out?” Catherine asked, a glimmer of hope in her voice. “Do some of them turn out to not be so straight after all?”

“Oh, it works out sometimes. But not as often as you’d hope. Most stay with their husbands because it’s scary to make that leap, or maybe they’re not as into women as they thought. Or maybe they’re too comfortable with the life they already have,” Sinead said, looking pointedly at Catherine.

Catherine felt a pang as Sinead’s words hit a nerve. Yes, her life with James was comfortable. Wealthy. Secure. “But I wouldn’t be struggling,” she said softly. “I’m a surgeon, and so is Lexi. We could make it work if we tried.”

“True. But think about what you’d be giving up,” Sinead said. “Your house, your lifestyle—it wouldn’t be the same.”

The thought of leaving her beautiful home didn’t bother Catherine as much as she’d thought it would. Lately, it hadn’t felt like much of a home anyway.

“I think I want this,” Catherine said quietly. “But it’s hard to know. Being with James is all I’ve ever known. We’ve been together more than twenty years.”

Sinead nodded. “Just…remember Lexi’s feelings in all of this. If you’re not careful, you’ll end up breaking her heart.”

It was late when James arrived home that night. Catherine was in the living room, having just finished readingThe Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, a book she’d heard was a lesbian romance. But it hadn’t ended happily, and it left Catherine in tears. She lounged on the sofa in her navy blue silk pajamas, thinking about Lexi and all the feelings she’d brought to the surface.

She heard James’s footsteps coming down the stairs. This was it. She was going to tell him she couldn’t do this anymore. He hadn’t spoken a word to her since he’d come home from his trip. He’d just gone straight to the kitchen to heat up the meal she’d prepared for him earlier, fulfilling her duty as the perfect wife, always making sure his needs were met, even though he rarely returned the courtesy.

“James,” she called softly. “Can we talk?”

“What about?” he replied sharply from the kitchen.

“Just bring your food in here, and we’ll talk.”

Moments later, James came in with his plate and sat down at the large table, eating silently. The rich aroma of the curryCatherine had made filled the room, but she felt sick to her stomach.

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