Page 53 of Kiss Me Honey Hone

“Yeah. He called me down after a lecture to ask where you were.”

“And what did you tell him?”

“That you weren’t well.” She handed back the vape. “Don’t you have some sort of agreement about attendance? Won’t they penalise you or something?”

Aaron shrugged, taking another drag and holding the vapor in his lungs before exhaling. “Maybe.”

Mel sighed and her movement ruffled the mouse on his laptop to life, the screen illuminating the latest university website he’d been checking out. She gasped, then moved from the chair to sit beside him on his single bed.

She gestured to the laptop. “Are you looking to transfer?”

“I’m thinking about it.”

“Why?”

“I dunno. Things aren’t working out here.”

Mel went quiet for a moment, softening as she looked at Aaron slouched on the bed. Then, to his surprise, she rested her head on his chest. Her hair smelled faintly of vanilla vape and cheap conditioner, grounding him in the smallest of comforts.

“Don’t go,” she said, uncharacteristically earnest.

Aaron blinked, surprised, and absently dragged his hand through her ponytail, smoothing the blue-streaked strands. “Why not?”

Mel sat up. “Don’t transfer to some other university just because everything feels too heavy right now. This is where you belong. Your friends are here. I’m here. You’ve got roots here, even if you don’t think you do. Don’t rip them out because you’re scared.”

Aaron let out a bitter laugh. “I don’t have roots. I don’t even know what that looks like. And I’m not scared.”

“You do. And youarescared. Because you don’t recognise them. Want me to tell you what roots look like? They look like this.” She pointed at her own chest, then pouted. “Me, beingupset if you’re not here. Because you matter. You’ve made a difference in my life, and I know that might not mean much to you, but it’s true.”

“I’m not sure I have.”

“You have.” Mel crossed her legs as if she were about to tell a story. “When I started here, I was this undecided, scared little thing. I didn’t know who I was, or if I even belonged. And then you come along, all sass and sarcasm, and you kinda showed me it’s okay to just…be myself.”

Aaron found it hard to believe all that. Having not meant anything to anyone before, nor had any real friends, and carted around so often, with a name change here and there, he’d had nothing more than fleeting, low-level acquaintances. He’d been close to Jayden for a while, a bloke from his half-way house in London, but that’d been more to do with being slung together through similar circumstances than anything else. And whilst he still got the occasional text from him, checking in every so often, Jayden’s life had moved on. Loved up and happy. He didn’t need Aaron’s shit. No one wanted it.

Especially notKenny.

And Mel didn’t deserve it.

“Think you’re giving me too much credit.”

“Maybe. Or maybe you don’t see it because you’re too busy wallowing in self-loathing to notice.” She gave him a knowing look. “I know it’s been a crap year for you. First, that thing with Rahul. Then your counsellor turned out to be a murderer. Then the court case, and then you were stuck here over the summer by yourself. And now, people are dropping dead all over the place. Weird shit. I get it. But if you leave, sure, you might get to start again somewhere else, but you’ll also have to start over finding a friend as awesome as me.”

Aaron snorted, lips twitching in the faintest smile. “I think this place would be better off without me.”

“Why? Is it you killing everyone?”

Aaron barked out a laugh at that, shaking his head. “No.” At least not intentionally. With his own hands. But maybe inadvertently. By association.

“Then why would it be better without you?”

Aaron sighed. “I don’t know. I’m…toxic. Everything I touch turns to shit.”

“That’s a load of crap. And you know what I think?”

“No, but I have a feeling you’re gonna tell me.”

“We’ve done a year and a bit of learning about behaviour, right? And I think this is exactly what Dr Lyons was talking about when he mentioned learned patterns of behaviour.” She pointed at him. “Life has taught you—through circumstance and shitty people—that the only way to deal with things is by yourself. That’s why you’re always trying to retreat, to close yourself off. It’s what you know. But just because that’s what you’ve learned doesn’t mean it’s the right way to handle things.”

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