Page 64 of Her Dark Reflection

Everyone else. I could take it fromeveryone else.I could take the insinuations of incompetence, the schemes to unseat me, the disrespect, the sweet lies and double-edged truths fromeveryone else.But not her. Not from someone who was supposed to support me. Not from someone I’ddone so much for.

‘Run me a bath,’ I sighed, massaging the bridge of my nose as Leela returned. ‘I want to soak this miserable day away.’

‘Of course, ma’am.’ She bobbed her head in assent.

‘No, wait.’ My eyes snapped open. ‘Have one of those useless creatures out there do it.’ I flicked my hand in the direction of the door, where I’d ordered my mob of attendants to wait. ‘Did you find a copy of the meeting agenda?’

She brought me the sheet of paper, which I poured over eagerly, noting where different items sat in the schedule. ‘I need you to send a missive for me.’

‘Who is the missive for?’ Leela sent me a sidelong glance as she arranged a cup and saucer before me.

‘The Lord President. Inform him that I’d like the next council meeting rescheduled. It needs to be held in the early morning instead of the afternoon. That’s very important. Don’t leave until he has agreed to a morning time.’

Her expression was curious, but when I didn’t elaborate, she simply inclined her head and slipped out of the room to do as I bid. I didn’t have the energy to pick apart my next move with her tonight. That could wait until tomorrow.

After adding sugar and cream to my tea, I slumped back against the settee and stared at the wall. I didn’t want to examine what had just happened, but I couldn’t quite drag myself away from it. Senafae didn’t think I should fight for my right to reign, that much was clear. And she had begun the visit with such an expression of neediness. How could she have thought that I’d grant her any sort of favour if that was the road she wanted to drive the conversation down? Had she just come to undermine my confidence? But what possible good would that do her?

Later, I lay awake in the stiff embrace of an indifferent night, thoughts caterwauling through my head. The moment the curtains around my bed had shut, I’d found the automated self-assurance that had been driving my every move since Linus’s death drained away. I felt tired and lonely. I didn’t know who my friends and allies were, or even if I had any. And what was I doing here, anyway? I was a street girl and a maisera, not an aristocrat. I had no business playing these games of politics where the stakes were the reign of a country.

The memory of Draven’s voice whispered through my mind.You were wasted on the streets.Was he right? Could I really scheme my way into a regency? The memory of those words unlocked that little box I kept buried at the bottom of my subconscious, and suddenly I was remembering his lips on mine, his hands on my skin, and heat surged through me. My hand wandered down beneath my covers and dipped between my legs as I remembered the cold of the wall against my back, the prickle of his stubble against the curve of my shoulder. He would never need to know I’d thought about that moment again, so what harm would it do?

A moan escaped me, and the still room was filled with the rustling of skirts.

‘Is everything alright, Your Royal Highness?’ one of my attendants asked. ‘Would you like a hot posset or another blanket?’

‘No,’ I said through gritted teeth. ‘I’m fine.’

No one spoke, but I could feel them listening and waiting, ready to jump to attention. With an angry sigh, I yanked my hand back out from beneath the covers.

‘Perhaps a—’

‘Absolutely fine!’ I snapped and I rolled onto my side, now tense with frustration. It seemed I’d be afforded no relief of any kind tonight.

Thefootstepsofthedozen attendants who insisted on tailing me everywhere was driving me to distraction. I had taken to walking at a pace close to a gallop in an effort to put some distance between me and them, but they were apparently as capable of walking fast as I was. Snapping at them to give me space worked sometimes, but I was wary of overly offending them, since they were all daughters, wives, or sisters of the councillors.

Their presence meant I needed to be mindful of how I communicated with Leela, but she already knew her task. She positioned herself by the door and she would stay there now until she had what I needed. She nodded at me as I passed through into the office within. The air was stuffy and overly warm. The Grand Paptich was pouring over a ledger as I entered, almost as though no one had announced my arrival, even though they had. Slowly, he closed the ledger and stood.

‘Your Royal Highness,’ he said, giving a stiff bow. ‘To what do I owe this surprise?’

I surveyed him with the attitude of an ice sculpture before I remembered that I was there for reconciliation and managed to inject a degree of warmth into my expression. ‘Please be seated, Grand Paptich. I request a few moments of your time for a brief conversation.’

His eyebrows shot up his forehead. ‘Certainly, Your Royal Highness can command my time at your pleasure.’ He returned to his seat as one of my attendants rushed a seat to the opposite side of his desk just in time for me to claim it. I flicked my hand and my attendants withdrew, closing the door behind them.

We watched each other across the desk, two opponents sizing each other up, awaiting the first move that would commence the battle.

‘My condolences again on the loss of your husband,’ he said finally, his words as slick as oil. ‘You appear to be coping with your grief commendably.’

Of the jabs he could have taken, this one hardly bothered me. It didn’t much matter if anyone thought I was madly in love with Linus anymore and phony grief wasn’t going to get me what I wanted. ‘Focusing on safeguarding his kingdom helps keep my mind from my grief. Which is why I wanted to speak with you.’

He leaned forward a little. ‘I’m listening.’

‘I think we could help each other.’

Milton stretched his lips into a poor imitation of a smile. ‘You’ve made it quite clear that helping me is not something you prioritise.’

‘But do you think I prioritise it more than Lord Boccius? Or the Grand Weaver?’

He grew still, watching me with more interest now. ‘I don’t see why either would not hold the interests of the sanctum in a place of high priority.’

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