“Jackie got new sparkle pens. Maybe she can bring them,” Kara shoves in a forkful but keeps talking. “Maddy and her mom are making cupcakes for a bake sale next week so maybe we can use the sparkle pens to make a sign. I think I can draw a pretty good cupcake. But only if Jackie has a pink pen. And maybe a blue one for the sprinkles—”
She keeps going, and I try to listen. I really do. But all I can think about is Rose. And the twitch of her mouth every time I teased her. And the way she admitted so coyly that things were different with me.Gooddifferent. And the way she felt against me when I kissed her at her car this morning. The way her body reacted when I held her firmly and sucked her bottom lip between mine.
God, she responded just like I fantasized she would. All breathy and soft and eager. It was risky to make a move like that, but in the moment, I decided I had nothing to lose. She was about to leave for good.
I haven’t kissed anyone since Amber, and to be honest, I’ve been a little anxious about it. It’s an odd feeling, thinking you’re only going to kiss one woman for the rest of your life, and then turning that decision on its head. But kissing Rose couldn’t have felt more right. I want to do it again. I want achanceto do it again.
But that’s up to her.
“Right, Dad?” Kara has asked me something and I completely missed it.
“Sorry, what was that?” I clear my throat.
“Crocodiles are bigger than alligators, right?” She watches me expectantly. “That’s what Mrs. Jones said at school.”
“Um…” Honestly, I have no idea. “I think Mrs. Jones is probably right.”
“I think so too. Can we go to the zoo? That way we can find out for sure.”
“We’ll go to the zoo soon,” I reply as I take another bite. “What else did Mrs. Jones teach you about crocodiles and alligators?”
She tells me all about reptiles for the rest of dinner and then she goes to her room to draw. She’s exhausting now, but I hope she’s this talkative when she’s a teenager who’d otherwise hide everything from me.
I spend the evening on the sofa in front of the fire, trying to distract myself. First, I pay a class fee online for a field trip Kara is taking next week, then I schedule an appointment to have my tires changed in the morning, then I open the book I’ve been reading. It’s an introduction to crafting custom wooden furniture. I’ve been wanting to build a back porch swing for my cabin up on the lake, but while I know plenty about chopping wood, I know absolutely nothing about turning it into something other than fire fuel.
I’ve made it through chapter three when my phone vibrates next to me. It’s a notification from Blindly.
It’s a message from Rose.
I move so fast I almost drop my book on the floor.
ASingleRose26
Hi.
So simple. I’m not sure what to think.
BigSpoon92
Hey. Hope you had a safe drive home?
ASingleRose26
Yes, and I thought about things. I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to see each other.
My heart drops to the ground. I wasn’t expecting the rejection so quickly. I hoped maybe we’d talk things over first. But maybe I was delusional to think the woman looking for a billionaire lawyer would give me a chance.
I stare at the screen for a long time, willing the words to disappear, but when they don’t, I hang my head.
ASingleRose26
I’m sorry.
BigSpoon92
It’s fine.
It’s not.