Page 16 of Fake It True

Josie’s smile was warm. “Makes sense. You haven’t really trusted anyone.”

“Do you trust Leo?” Luna asked.

I pondered for a moment, doing a body check, but I was nodding without really thinking about it. “I do. I really do.”

Thatwas kind of a big deal. We didn’t get a chance to talk more because opening time rolled up fast.

I thought about Leo that night when I got home. I loved my little apartment and how safe it felt. It was cozy, and it was mine.

I turned on the television and snuggled up in my favorite blanket on the small loveseat. I had a big mug of hot chocolate with marshmallows and a donut from Luna. She’d tied it up with a bow for me.

I was wondering when I might see Leo again when my cell phone vibrated with a text. I reached for it, glancing at the screen to instantly feel nausea rising in my throat.

“Fuck you, Nathaniel,” I muttered as I stared at the screen.

Nathaniel: You can’t avoid me forever. I don’t know what you think happened, but I know it’s not what you think.

I left him on unread. That’s how I left all of his messages.

I took a swallow of my hot cocoa, trying to will away the anxiety that instantly began whirring like a storm in my chest.

“It didn’t matter,” I whispered to myself.

Callie was never going to come back. I had nothing to lose other than to destroy their peace of mind by telling my parents what happened.

My mind scurried about, trying to think about anything other than this. I did have one perfect distraction.

Instead of waiting for Leo to text me, I texted him. Which was so wildly out of character for me that I got flustered as soon as I hit send. Glancing down, I reread what I wrote.

Me: Hey, was wondering how you’re doing.

“Oh, my God,” I muttered to myself. “That’s stupid.”

I had never been one of those people who was quick and witty when it came to texting. That kind of communication didn’t come naturally to me. Before I had a chance to berate myself for too long, my phone vibrated. When I saw Leo’s name flash on the screen, my lips curled into a smile. If my belly had been a hula girl, she would’ve been dancing and twirling her skirt.

Leo: I was wondering the same thing. I want to see you again.

Me: We have our therapy appointment on Tuesday.

As soon as I hit send, I again felt ridiculous. I was pretty sure he wasn’t talking about wanting to see me in therapy.

Leo: Of course, I’m looking forward to that, but I meant another kind of seeing you.Dora will be out of town next weekend. I’d love to take you out to dinner again.

“Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God.”

I had to force myself to breathe. “Calm down,” I ordered myself.

Leo elicited a new level of talking to myself.

I took several deep breaths and closed my eyes. After I thought I had it under control and could text like a normal person, I lifted my phone again. I was sitting by myself in my tiny apartment with my pulse rampaging out of control and my belly doing gymnastics while I was texting with a cute guy.

Me: I’d love that!

Before I meant to, I hit send by accident.

“Oh, my God. Fuck my life,” I muttered.

“Fuck your life?”

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