Page 138 of California Wild

Jesse let out a slow, shaky breath.

And for the first time since she had come back into his life—since their whole world had turned upside down—he let her in.

He kissed her long and slow. “He said something that woke me up.”

Hayley didn’t push.

She could have. She could have pressed him, demanded to know exactly what Heath had said that pulled him back from the edge, but Jesse had already given her more than she’d ever expected. More than he’d ever given anyone.

And she knew him well enough to recognize that he was at his limit.

So instead, she let the silence settle between them. Let it wrap around them like the darkened room, the soft hush of the ocean outside, the slow, rhythmic rise and fall of his chest against her back.

Jesse tightened his grip around her, pulling her in, as if grounding himself in the feel of her, the solid weight of her in his arms. His breath was steady now, warm against her shoulder, his heartbeat finally slowing from the memories he’d unearthed.

Hayley stared into the dim light filtering through the window, processing everything.

She had thought she knew him. Thought she had seen the darkest parts of him. But now, the full depth of it sat heavy in her chest.

And yet, even knowing the worst, even feeling the weight of his past pressing between them, she still didn’t move away.

Jesse shifted, pressing his lips to her bare shoulder, lingering there. Not asking for more. Just being. Just holding.

She swallowed. “Are you okay?”

He huffed a quiet laugh, shaking his head against her skin. “I don’t know if I ever will be.”

Hayley turned in his arms, shifting so she could face him. His golden eyes were dark in the shadows, unreadable, but she reached up anyway, smoothing her fingers through his curls, letting the gesture say what words couldn’t.

He let out a slow exhale, closing his eyes at her touch, and when he opened them again, something in them had softened.

“I’m still figuring this out, Hayley,” he admitted, his voice low, rough. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be good at this. There’s a monster that lives in me… and I’m always fighting it.”

She studied him, his face inches from hers, his hands resting low on her back. The boy she once knew had been reckless. Wild. Addicted to destruction. But this man? This man was trying.

“I don’t need perfect,” she said. “I just need honest.”

Jesse swallowed hard. He didn’t promise her anything. Didn’t give her words he wasn’t sure he could keep.

Instead, he just pulled her closer, pressing his forehead to hers, his breath unsteady.

And for now—that was enough.

Chapter 20

The first thing she felt was heat.

Not the good kind—not the Jesse kind that she loved. The warm, safe press of a strong arm across her stomach, a breath at her neck, a lazy kiss behind her ear. No, this was the bad kind. Clammy. Rolling. Rising from her belly like a wave of bile.

She barely made it to the bathroom.

Her knees hit the tile with a thud, one hand bracing against the cold porcelain of the toilet as the other clamped over her mouth. And then—she was sick. Again. Bitter heat in her throat, her stomach cramping violently as she doubled over.

She barely heard the footsteps until the door creaked open behind her.

Jesse.

He didn’t say anything at first. Just knelt behind her and swept her hair up into his hand, gathering it gently, fingers threading through the tangled strands with surprising care. One of his hands rubbed slow, firm circles over her back, the other kept her hair pulled away from her face.

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