Page 129 of California Wild

He pressed his palms to his face. Dug his thumbs into his eyes until colors bloomed behind his lids.

No.

He wasn’t that guy anymore.

But the beast never left. It just waited.

And it was waiting now.

Jesse forced himself out of bed, careful not to jostle her. He grabbed a pair of joggers, pulled on a hoodie. His hands were still trembling as he stepped into his running shoes.

One more glance.

She was still curled in the sheets, one hand tucked under her cheek, lips slightly parted. Innocent in a way that wrecked him.

Don’t wake up.

Because if she did, she’d see it in his eyes.

The war.

The guilt.

The part of him that still wanted to disappear.

He stepped out the front door, shut it behind him, and locked it.

Then he ran.

Fast. Hard. Like he could outpace it.

Like he could outrun the man he used to be.

And the truth he was too scared to tell her.

That loving him came with a cost.

And sooner or later, Hayley was going to pay it.

* * * * *

Hayley stirred sometime around three, her body stiff, too warm. Her bladder ached—the kind of ache that came from pregnancy, the kind she was learning meant no more full nights of sleep. She groaned softly, rubbing her eyes, reaching blindly across the bed—

Cold.

Her fingers touched nothing but wrinkled sheets and a tangle of fabric.

No Jesse.

She blinked hard, still half-dreaming, still somewhere between the haze of sleep and the thick pull of exhaustion. Her hand patted the mattress again, slower this time, like he might just be hiding under the covers, like she hadn’t missed him the first time.

Still nothing.

Her brows drew together. Maybe he went to the bathroom. Maybe he couldn’t sleep and was raiding the fridge. Maybe he was—

She sat up too fast.

The room was quiet. Too quiet.

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