Page 64 of Pucking Off-Sides With My Brother's Best Friend

But whatever it is about Aurora, I’ve lost sight of all that, and I don’t understand why. Why have I been willing to put everything I worked so damn hard for at risk?

“It wasn’t Aiden’s fault, Jax. He wasn’t the only one not thinking about the long-term effects.” I turn to look at Aurora. She’s looking down at the ice on her hand.

“It was nice to feel safe and that I could be myself and not have to worry if the person liked me or not. I know where I stand with Aiden. I know this isn’t permanent, and I’m okay with that.”

“Aurora,” Jax says. “I don’t think this —“

“You deserve more than that.” The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. Her words hit a nerve deep inside me, and I can’t fucking stand it. “I’m not worth all this. You deserve more than that piece of shit, Turner. And you deserve more than a sometimes night of fun.”

Jax looks at me like he’s trying to figure out a puzzle. I want… no, need to know what she’s thinking about all of this.

I sigh and lean back against the wall, arms crossed like a shield over my chest. This whole ‘talking about feelings’ thing has my skin crawling. Every instinct is screaming at me to bolt, to run as far and fast as I can from this conversation. But I force myself to stay put. There’s too much at stake here to fuck it up by running away.

“Aiden.”

Jax’s voice cuts through my internal panic. There’s a seriousness in his tone I’ve never heard before, not even during our toughest games. It snaps me to attention like a coach’s whistle. I can feel the weight of what’s coming next, heavy as a loaded question.

“Do you have feelings for my sister? Do you like Aurora?”

And there it is. The million-dollar question. The one I’ve been dodging even in my own head. Suddenly, the room feels too small, the air too thick. I’m trapped between the truth I’m scared to admit and the lie that could make this all go away.

But the lie is already on my tongue, waiting to be free. One word and I can end all this confusion set us back on familiar ground. It’d be so damn easy. And yet...I can’t do it. I’m fucking tired of lying, especially to myself.

“Yeah, I do.”

Jax nods like he expected it, but Aurora? She looks like I just told her the sky is green. It hits me like a sucker punch. Has she really never thought about us? About why she keeps ending up in my bed?

The thought that she’s never considered feelings being involved makes me want the floor to open up and swallow me whole. This is why I don’t do relationships. I’d fuck it up, just like every relationship I’ve ever seen. My family’s great at a lot of things, but healthy relationships ain’t one of them.

And Aurora? She’s too good for this shit. She’s all sunshine and rainbows, and I’m a fucking stormcloud.

“But it doesn’t matter,” I add quickly. Jax stands up, fists clenched.

“Why the fuck not?”

“Because, man, I’ve got my own shit. I can’t drag her into that.” The honesty burns coming out. I avoid their eyes. Looking would only make it hurt more. “I’m not the right guy for her. Anyone can see that.”

Jax looks like he wants to push back, but Aurora beats him to it. Her voice is quiet but sharp.

“It’s really frustrating when you two talk about me like I’m not here.” She looks up at me, her expression indecipherable. Jax turns to her as she stands. Aurora’s eyes lock onto mine, and I can’t read her expression for shit. It’s like trying to decipher a play I’ve never seen before. Jax turns to her as she stands up, and I brace myself for whatever’s coming next.

“Sorry, sis,” Jax’s eyes flick to me, and I know what’s coming. “What about you? How do you feel about him?”

Part of me wants to shut this down, but a bigger part is desperate to hear her answer.

The silence that follows is fucking deafening. I’m trying to look cool like this isn’t make-or-break for me, but inside? I’m a fucking mess. My ears are straining to catch every breath, a hint, a clue.

I’m not supposed to care this much. I’m not supposed to let hope lead me on like some rookie chasing his first goal. But here I am, hanging on every second of silence like my life depends on it. I’ve never wanted to hear something so badly in my life.

Somehow, without me even noticing, Aurora’s become the most important person in my life right now, and that scares the shit out of me.

“I don’t know.”

Three words. Quiet as a whisper on center ice, but they hit me like a full-body check. Pain floods through me, sharp and sudden. It’s all I can feel. Those words, so soft and uncertain, nearly take me to the ground.

They’re quiet, almost a whisper, but they might as well be a fucking foghorn for how they’re ringing in my ears. Aurora’s eyes meet mine for a split second, then she’s looking away. That fleeting glance does nothing to ease the ache. If anything, it makes me wish I could disappear into the boards.

She doesn’t say another word, even as Jax asks her to wait. She just turns and walks out. A few moments later, her door shuts.

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