Page 9 of Bren

Smiling, I went to sleep with no plan but determined that I would do my best to win her back and step up as a father. I knew I’d have my work cut out for me; Bren may be soft, but she was stubborn, and she had someone she would be protecting, so it would be even harder. I’d show her, though, that I was good enough to be hers.

Chapter 5

BREN

The months after I’d come home hadn’t all been plain sailing. There was no hiding my pregnancy, and while I never outright admitted who the father was, my family weren’t idiots. Only Bev, Alec’s mum, had outright asked me; for a split second, I’d contemplated lying to her.

I’d just hit the six-month mark and seemed to have more energy to burn than I wanted. Nothing was settling me down—not work, not training Ellie in the new brand of soaps and creams we were starting, not setting up the new factory to make them. Nothing! I decided a walk was the only way to get rid of the excess energy, and maybe I’d sleep better tonight. For now, Sam and I’d moved into Noni’s old wing as nobody was using it. Ben and Ellie were still in Mum and Dad’s wing. Being in this wing gave me a semblance of independence that I was grateful for.

Walking down the wide, sweeping staircase to the kitchen, I was grateful to find it empty. Looking at the clock on the wall above the sink, I saw that it was just on three in the afternoon, so the schools were just kicking out, which was probably why it was empty, with everyone going to collect the younger ones. Slipping my trainers on, I swung my light coat on. I doubted I’d need it and would more than likely have to take it off, but you never knew what the weather was going to do in the UK.

I’d just stepped onto the path that would take me to Draco and Molly’s house when Bev called from the direction of the garage, “Hold on, Bren, I’ll come with you.”

Turning around, I waited for Alec’s mum to walk towards me. Idly, I wondered if my daughter would be tall like her or short like me. Or maybe she’d be somewhere in between. I had a feeling she’d be a strawberry blonde, though, with my own hair being fair and Alec’s hair the same as his mum’s strawberry blonde.

It didn’t take Bev long to get to me, and I relaxed slightly as she wrapped her arms around me in a gentle hug. “Hey, girly, how are you doing?”

Smiling, I squeezed her back. I’d always liked Bev, she was a no-nonsense type of woman with a backbone of steel. She’d lived a hard life and come out the other side stronger for it.

“I’m doing good, Bev, and you?” I answered her as I let her go. Turning back towards the path, I was happy for her company as she fell into step with me, my arm wrapped through hers.

“All good with me, chicky. The garage is doing well, and the extension is nearly completed for when Alec gets back so that we can start doing our own spray painting.”

“That’s fantastic news,” I replied with a small smile. Turns out it was easier to do an extension than to find a whole new unit for them to use in the village. It would also mean more income for everyone. Whatever anyone thought about Alec, the one thing he didn’t mess around with was the garage. He was good at his job.

We walked on, talking about our day-to-day lives and what I had planned for when I went on maternity leave. I had plans in place and staff to run my businesses, so I wasn’t worried. As long as the birth went well, I’d be able to still check on things. I’d just take the baby with me.

Once we got to the gate that separated the Crow property from Molly and Draco’s, we turned around to make our way back.

“You can ask me, you know,” I said quietly to Bev.

She squeezed my arm gently to her, “I don’t need to ask, beautiful girl. I already know. I’m a little confused as to why Alec doesn’t know, though. If he knows and hasn’t stepped up, I’m going to beat his arse when I next see him.”

Stopping, I turned to look at her and shook my head, “He doesn’t know.” I held up my hand when her lips tightened and a flash of anger lit her eyes as she went to say something. “Not because I didn’t want him to know. I had every intention of telling him until he made it clear he didn’t want children. You know how Ben, Ellie, and I grew up. I didn’t want that for my child—a father who wasn’t interested.

“And I can admit that at the time I was angry, hurt, a little jealous, and overly protective of my small bean. Maybe it was the wrong decision, I don’t know. I haven’t exactly kept it a secret, but I also don’t want Alec to feel pressured to be something he doesn’t want to be. If he ever decides that he wants to have a relationship with our baby, I’ll never stop him, but if he doesn’t and would rather stay as an uncle, then that’s up to him. I’d never stop you and Gunny from being in her life; you’re her grandparents just as my mum and dad are.”

My reasoning probably doesn’t make sense to most, but it does to me, and that was all that mattered. I’d never stop Alec from having anything to do with this baby in whatever capacity he wanted. But I’d also never have him pressured into something that would make him unhappy. He’d hurt me, and I no longer saw him through rose-tinted glasses, hoping that he’d make me his. I’d grown up in the last few months, and I’d never go back to that naïve girl again.

Bev cupped my cheek, wiping at the tear I didn’t even realise I was shedding, “I’m sorry, baby girl. I’m sorry he’s an idiot and doesn’t see the wonderful woman you are.”

Pressing her hand to my cheek with my own, I smiled tearfully up at her, “Thank you, Bev; sometimes what we want isn’t meant to be.”

Letting go of her hand, we turned back towards the main house. “You’ll let me spoil her, won’t you?” Bev asked.

Laughing, I bumped her gently with my shoulder, “You’re her granny, aren’t you? I thought spoiling was what grannies did.”

Bev laughed and pressed a kiss to my head, “Too right, baby girl. And you, I get to spoil you too.”

My soul was a little lighter by the time we got home. The kitchen was full of people, the noise levels were high, and the chaos was familiar. I walked towards where Ben was leaning up against the counter with Carly between him and Brice. I wondered if they realised how often they stood like that. I squeezed between him and Sam, who was standing on his other side. My brothers shuffled to make room for me between them. For the first time in months, I smiled a full smile, feeling happier than I had in a long while as I watched the goings-on, and I couldn’t help but think that I was lucky I ended up with this family.

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Pain wracked my body as I worked hard to birth my baby. I’d been too late to get an epidural, and I wasn’t sure if I could do this.

“You can do anything you set your mind to, baby,” Mum assured me, gripping my hand with one hand and wiping a cool cloth over my face with the other.

On my other side, Bev was holding my other hand; she pressed a kiss to my sweaty temple. “You can do this, baby girl. You’re strong,” she assured me.

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