Page 48 of Passion and Payback

“Control issues, huh?” he asked, and my eyes widened when his fingers wrapped around my wrist. I hadn’t realized he’dpulled his hand free, and to my surprise, I didn’t resist when he tugged my hand down. “I’m having some of those myself.”

“Hunt,” I warned in a soft voice, trying to resist before he pulled my arm all the way down. “Tonight?—”

“Is going to be special,” he said as if he was assuring me, which he kind of was. I wanted tonight to be as special as possible for him.

“I don’t want you to think that…I wasn’t saying that because you’re just a walking sex bot to me,” I told him, stopping my arm before he could close the distance to his groin.

He blinked before reaching up with his other hand to cup the back of my neck and hold me in place. Hunter held my gaze for a handful of seconds before smiling slowly. “And I wouldneverthink you want anything from me except me. You, Malakai Owen Martin, have never been anything more than my faithful friend and loyal companion. And if we choose to do something sexual because we both want it, then I will never once think you are using me. And if you don’t want to, or you want to wait, then you use your big boy words and tell me right now.”

I was still at war with myself because I wanted to finish what he was starting right here and now. But I also…well, I didn’t know, but I suspected he probably had several hang-ups when it came to sex, and I didn’t want to stomp all over his issues just because I was horny and he was hot. On the other hand, to not take him at his word felt like an insult to the friendship we’d shared for years.

Giving in, I was the one who slid my hand down the last few inches. His breath shook slightly when I took his cock in hand, sliding it down as I felt it straining but still pinned against his thigh. Even through shorts and underwear, I could feel how hot it was, and an insane zing shot through me when I heard him moan as my finger ran over the head.

I kissed him then, just like I had done in the club. This time, however, there was no hesitation, no screaming voice in my head saying I was being impulsive and stupid. Now there was only the intensity of the kiss and the feel of his dick throbbing lightly against my grip with the beat of his heart.

“Hunter,” I breathed. “I don’t know how to…—”

“How to what? Control yourself? Or has it been that long since you were with a guy?”

“I don’t want to…upset you.”

The kiss broke, and I almost chased it, except I felt the mood shift slightly as he eased back. There in his eyes was the look of fear and wariness I’d been dreading, knowing it could always exist in the back of his mind. I also thought I saw irritation, as if he was annoyed I’d brought it up at such a heated moment.

Then it broke, and he let out a heavy sigh. “I know. I can feel it, you know? In the back of my head. Constantly panicking and worrying. Whenever I thought about doing anything with anyone, it filled my whole head, and I would just…freeze. Even trying to flirt with someone, I’d lose my mind. And Ihatethat with you. My dream has come true, and I can still feel it.”

“Hey,” I said, slowly reaching up to cup his face with both hands. “No one with enough brain cells is going to blame you for that. What you went through, what you endured and survived, is nothing to…it’s going to leave a mark, okay? I know that, and I will never blame you, even if you bail out when we’re in the middle, not if you pull away or freak out. All I need from you is to tell me when it gets too much and what you need.”

“I don’t know,” he said, suddenly so unsure of himself that I wanted to kick myself for stealing what bit of confidence he’d gained. “I don’t know what’s going to set me off.”

“I can work with that, just so long as you tell me when it’s too much,” I told him, gently pushing him back toward the bedroom. “But I’m not going to go too far until I’m sure we’rebothready.”

I didn’t need to be in his head to know that going for a full-blown fuck was asking for trouble. I didn’t know the full extent of what had happened when those fuckers had…well, I didn’t want to know. What I did know was that even if they hadn’t anally raped him, the sheer intensity of full sex could be overwhelming for him. Hell, even the military, brutal as it was, would still pull people out of the fire if it looked like they were going to lose their minds…most of the time. No way in hell was I going to push Hunter that far.

He was still unsure when I pushed him to his bed. I gently eased him back with a smile until his knees bent, and he dropped onto the edge. He was still looking nervous when I knelt between his legs, but his eyes widened in shock.

Chuckling at his bare shock, I reached down to tug gently at his pants. After a moment, he recovered enough to hike his hips up enough for me to pull them down. I had been expecting something soft and silky in the way of underwear, but I was not expecting the distinct pouch, neon green no less, and the bright neon blue straps of a jockstrap.

“I always thought you were a boxer briefs sort of guy,” I said with a chuckle, running my hand along the pouch. It wasn’t bulging quite like before, but I could easily chalk that up to nerves…especially when I felt him stirring to life under my touch.

“I used to hate them,” he said, letting the shorts slip to the floor, his eyes locked onto me hungrily again. “But then I found some that fit me properly, and wouldn’t you know it? They’re great.”

“Mmm,” I said, putting a hand on his hip. “And do I get to see just how that ass looks in them without shorts in the way?”

I saw the flicker of uncertainty in his eyes, but only for a moment before he rolled over to give me what I wanted. I wasn’t in the slightest disappointed at the sight before me, the perfectcurve of his bare ass as he lay on his stomach. I ran my hands up his thighs, circling them so I could feel the soft inner skin of his legs and up to the base of his balls.

He craned his neck around to look at me as my finger ran up the crack of his ass. I didn’t need to hear the shiver in his breath to know he was tense. One of my hands was still around his thigh. I paused, gently running my finger back and forth to let him feel the sensation of my calloused fingers on his sensitive skin.

Unable to help myself, I leaned forward and placed a kiss on his bare ass. The temptation to slide over and press my mouth against him, to slide my tongue into him, was intense. I wanted to know what he sounded like when at least part of me was inside him. I wanted to know if he would squirm and pant or just lie there and moan as I loosened him up, taking my time to pleasure him and drive him wild.

Either through my movements or just his expectations, he must have sensed what was going through my mind. He stirred restlessly, turning around to look at me with a fallen expression. “I…please, Kai, nothing…nothing in me. Not there. Not yet.”

I felt a twinge of disappointment and must have done a terrible job hiding it when I saw a flash cross his face. “Hey, I told you to tell me when something was too much, and I meant it. I’m in no rush for anything. This was your idea, remember?”

“Yeah, because you look like you’rereallystruggling back there,” he said, a smile taking the place of the guilty frown.

“Oh yes,” I said, taking the chance to manhandle him onto his back so I got a full view of his groin again. “I’m having a difficult time. I don’t know how I’ll survive.”

Which left me the perfect opportunity to reach up and try to pull him free. Rather than fight with the straps, I simply slid my fingers under the edge of the pouch and wrapped them around the hard shaft of his cock. I could feel it pulse in excitement asI rotated it gently, freeing it to Hunter's apparent relief as he sighed.

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